Hammy the Hamster's blog

Uncle Joe strikes again

2011-05-27T15:32:00.002+01:00

So Liverpool has a new Lord Mayor, many congratulations to Frank Prendergast, and good luck for his year as Liverpool's first citizen.

After his instillation on Tuesday, I was invited to nibble some cheese with a few mates living behind the skirting board in the Town Hall ballroom.

So my little ears pricked up when I heard Joe Anderson get up to speak.

Uncle Joe decided to live up to his namesake's reputation for err, "redrafting history".

So says Uncle Joe, our new Lord Mayor was responsible for the development of Liverpool One. But Frank is a shy and retiring man, so he allowed the Lib Dems to take all the credit.

Even to my untrained ear this didn't sound right. So I did a little digging.

It's true that Frank Prendergast had a major influence on Liverpool One. He almost caused the whole thing to collapse!

In his last days as leader of the council Frank did a deal with a certain property developer who has a reputation for not developing the sites he acquired. He sold an option on Chavasse Park

to Bill Davies for a meagre £50,000.

Years later, just as the ink was drying on the Council's agreement with Grosvenor, up popped Bill Davies demanding the right to build a shopping mall on the park or £hundreds of millions in compensation from the council.

At this point most developers would have walked away, but luckily the Lib Dems managed to persuade them to stick around.

According to the Daily Post, it cost the council £2 Million to fight off Bill Davies option. So thanks Frank. As Uncle Joe said, you can really be proud of your contribution.

Will this endear me to Scousers?

2011-05-25T11:51:00.000+01:00

Labour's Mr Ed has been taking advice from Luciana on how best to endear himself to the people of Liverpool.

Anyone from the Lib Dem campaign team is reading this? You might want to stick this picture on a leaflet guys.

"AV? Is that a lip gloss?"

2011-05-23T12:27:00.000+01:00

One story you may have missed during the AV referendum was an interesting quiz on how Merseyside MPs would vote.

Most presented rational reasons for and against, apart from two Labour MPs.

Rosie Cooper refused to answer! Well it is a secret ballot after all, so you can't expect to be able to find out what your MP thinks on an important matter of state!

Meanwhile, Luciana Airhead MP had been too busy worrying about what to wear at the count, and trying to identify the next rising star in the Labour party to attach herself to. So it was unfair to expect her to have a position on a major constitutional issue.

She was reported to be abstaining, "What is AV anyway, is it a type of lip gloss? I think I recall people talking about it in the commons, but I was reading an interesting article in Heat magazine."

Telling the Tories where to go...

2011-05-21T11:56:00.002+01:00

... To their natural home in Labour, obviously.

Joe Anderson continues to swell his ranks with Tories, after welcoming arch Thatcherite Steve Fitzsimmons to his increasingly discontented band.

The ink had hardly dried on Steve's membership form when £1000-a-week Joe announced that the former Tory Leader and parliamentary candidate would be standing for Labour next May.

Well if you can't find any talent on your own benches, poach it from somewhere else!

On being welcomed by Anderson he told reporters that he had, "Nothing but respect and admiration for his friends in the Conservative Party!" So that sweeps away any doubt we might have that this is nothing more than naked opportunism.

If elected, he will join the growing ranks of Labour Tories, including Young Conservative Jobling, former aide to Thatcher's ministers, Windy Millar, and tory landlord and quangocrat Frankle.

Bessie Bradock is spinning in her grave!

Labour dumping in Childwall

2011-04-15T20:41:00.000+01:00

One thing about you humans, you love to leave food and other goodies laying around for me and my furry friends. Only the other day someone left an all-you-can-eat-buffet bin bag in my pack passage (oh eh misses!)

You dump rubbish everywhere, you even let your dogs dump on the pavement. No wonder we see so many leaflets from you politicians complaining about dumping and demanding action.

But imagine my surprise when a Childwall Labour leaflet was used to line my cage recently. Such is the public service from those nice Labour people, it appears that they caught this man in the act and decided to name and shame him.

There is really no excuse for dumping on our streets, even though Labour closed the last public toilet in Liverpool.

Good things in small packages

2011-04-14T22:23:00.007+01:00

Hi there folks.

If your here looking for a blogging canine then you'll be disappointed. Since the dogs scarpered many of us have had a small hole in our daily internet experience.

It's obvious that this blog is missed, why else would a blog that hadn't been updated this year be receiving almost 2000 visitors last month alone?

Fortunately the previous owners failed to come up with a particularly original password, and tonight I finally cracked it. Honestly I'm surprised nobody tried it before, but I got there first - so consider this blog under new management!

Sally and Dude, thanks for all the fun in the past, but you have let us down and it's time for you to sling your hooks. They say that every dog has his day, and yours has gone.

Fortunately I'm more than up to the job. It helps that I'm small enough to squeeze into to the hidden corners of power - you won't believe some of the political gossip I get to hear.

I've been warned that there may be a cat loose on this blog, although none of us have heard from him. Still I'll need to be on the look out for any fury rivals popping up on here.

Please bare with me while I get used to this, but I'll try and eek out a few small stories to wet your appetite over the next few weeks.

What? You don't believe a simple hamster can perform the same job as a dog? Well just look here!

Who needs dogs? I'm cheaper to run, and you don't need to walk me when it's raining.

Bye for now, Hammy.

Who to condemn?

2010-12-09T18:37:00.000Z

It's been a while since Maria (Gold Taps) Eagle featured on these pages. So thanks to the reader who brought to our attention this recent story in the Daily Post about 190 job losses in her constituency, as Novartis transfers them to Italy.

Normally we might expect any MP let alone a Labour MP to condemn the move and be demanding meetings with the management to reverse the decision. But instead of condemnation she blames the ConDems, and praises the company.

By coincidence, Maria's constituency Labour party got a £3000 shot in the arm from the Swiss owned pharmaceuticals company, who have also made larger donations to the Labour party.

Labour have a long standing relationship with the firm. Before selling out for £542Million and netting a cool £70million for himself and family, Paul Drayson regularly hit the headlines for his controversial Labour donations which exceed £1Million.

As reported here in the Guardian "Mr Drayson's firm, Powderject, received a £32m contract for smallpox vaccine without normal competitive tendering, shortly after donating £100,000 to Labour."

This resulted in a parliamentary inquiry, which failed to identify any improper activity. But Labour ministers were servilely criticised by the Parliamentary Ombudsman for refusing to comply with freedom of information requests, describing it as "a matter of great concern."

Mr Drayson was then made Lord Drayson by Labour, and he promptly gave another £1/2Million to the party. He was also appointed a Minister in the Blair and Brown Governments.

Strangely Novartis's donation doesn't appear to be listed on Maria's parliamentary register of interests. Neither do donations from Peel Ports or housing association South Liverpool Housing.

Have you seen this dog?

2010-12-08T18:57:00.001Z

Fight amongst yourselves

2010-12-07T18:18:00.001Z

Almost every day I receive comments on this site that are very obviously from Labour councillors or activists using this blog to wage war against their own enemies within the Labour party.

Most of them are rejected as potentially libellous or just far too offensive to appear here. I mention this because yet again I'm in the dog house with one reader for allowing a comment that on reflection just crosses the acceptability line.

I wish I could let you see the venom that exists within a party that has already descended into civil war 6 months after taking power. But I can only allow a handful of the milder comments.

So you won't see any of the disgusting homophobic comments directed against a female Labour councillor in South Liverpool. Nor will you see the allegations that another stole money from a residents association - unless we see some evidence to back up the claim. Or the repeated accusations of another Labour councillor being a wife beater... or the accusation that a candidate standing in north Liverpool will sleep with anyone but his wife.

Why don't you all just hire a boxing ring for a night and get it all off your chests?

Comments littered with F, C and T words are always rejected, as are racist, sexist, ageist or homophobic posts, or abuse directed at someone's physical appearance or impairments. Before pressing "publish" this site asks the question "if the politicians involved were MPs, would Private Eye publish this?" If not, don't bother to send it in.

love and licks to all of you,

Sally

Loosing another job

2010-12-06T18:21:00.002Z

Former MP Jane (all you can eat for £400 a month) Kennedy understandably hit the roof when David (boost my pension) Henshaw was appointed to Chair Alder Hey Hospital trust.

Having been sacked previously as a Health Minister after being thwarted in her attempt to stop him becoming Chair of NHS North West, she described him as "A man in whom I have no confidence and for whom I have no respect".

Yet she had another reason to vent her wrath at her opponent.

Those of us paying any attention when she announced she was quitting as an MP, before her expense account could catch up with her, will recall she planned a career "working with the health service".

As one gravy train was pulling into it's final station, she hoped her connections could be timed to jump on board another train. So it's not too surprising that JFK also applied for the cushy number of Alder Hey Chair. After all, this is a "job" paying £42K per year for 2/3 days a week of work (no doubt with also the opportunity for expenses) so you would expect two of the city's greediest to be following the money.

But sadly for her it was not to be, and while Henshaw won the race, Jane didn't make the shortlist.

To lose one job to such a vile little man is unfortunate. To lose two seems more like people are trying to tell you something. Still, I have found a job vacancy you might be interested in, and you will be employed by another of you old mates, Joe Anderson. It will allow you to share your vast knowledge of catering on a budget. Details here.

'To Infinity And Beyond'

2010-12-02T19:15:00.001Z

Labour's Leader Ed Rubberband bounced back into the spotlight following he paternity leave with a brand new slogan borrowed from Toy Story's Buzz Lightyear, promising to go beyond new Labour.

This prompted the press to label him "Buzz Lightweight" after his disastrous performance at PMQs and on the Today Programme last Friday, attempting the define the "stretched middle" that Labour are now pledged to fight on behalf of - having decided the poor are already in the bag, so stuff 'em!

So one of my regular readers started to wonder, just for a bit of fun, if Ed is Buzz Lightweight then which character is his even more lightweight pet Luciana.

Well there were only two serious contenders.

Jessie The Yodeling Cow Girl shares the cold staring eyes and fake smile. She hyperventilates just at the thought of being left on her own to do things and requires a minder at all times.

The other contender had to be Slinky. Standing out for speaking with a Southern accent and possessing a lightweight plastic head, the resemblance is striking.

Feel free to send in other members of Labour's Toy Story.

Legal dog house

2010-12-01T17:45:00.000Z

I have been passed an interesting e-mail from a solicitor employed by Dr Ansari, who takes issue with the recent article about his donation to Luciana's campaign.

In the interest of fairness I will list his complaints, as this blog has always allowed a right of reply to humans named here.

1. Dr Ansari claims he made no donation specifically to fund Luciana. (Although Luciana lists his donation in her declaration of interests - so is her declaration a lie? If so I apologize to Doctor Ansari and suggest he takes action against Luciana for defaming him.)

2. Dr Anwar maintains that there was no major scandal associated with him. The proxy donor in question just happened to rent a flat from him. (Well I make no argument either way, however two Labour supporting newspapers linked him to the scandal, therefor it is fair for this blog to report that he was linked to it.)

3. There is no evidence to suggest that the Labour NEC considered Dr Ansari unfit for office. (I make no such suggestion, merely quote the example given in the Daily Mirror by a Labour insider as to why someone might be vetoed by the NEC.)

4. Dr Ansari has not submitted "controversial planning applications" in Liverpool. (Depends on how you define controversial? However the majority of planning applications he has made in Liverpool have either been refused or presumably would have been refused if he hadn't withdrawn them. And as a private landlord making a profit by housing asylum seekers in hostels, he can hardly claim to be in an uncontroversial business)

5. Dr Ansari has very little in the way of property interests in Greater Manchester. (So by "very little" is it accepted that he does indeed have property interests in Greater Manchester?)

So I am glad we could clarify all that for Dr Ansari.

Luciana's broken promises

2010-11-30T17:35:00.002Z

I was stopped in the street the other day by a total stranger who recognized me from this blog. He berated me for letter Luciana get off the hook for breaking one of her campaign pledges.

Apparently, and I must have missed this, Luciana publicly pledged at various hustings meetings during the election that she would just concentrate on being Wavertree's MP. She wouldn't be taking on any portfolio or doing outside jobs.

So how does she square that with being made Shadow Climate Change spokesman as part of her reward for backing the right Rubberband? Or her lucrative writing for public relations magazines and survey filling.

A broken promise, absolutely. 100% commitment to Wavertree, well as one would have been candidate for the seat would say, "My Ar$*"

Luciana & the landlord

2010-11-18T17:58:00.003Z

Rich friends are always helpful in politics, even if you sometimes have to hold your nose while trowsering their cash. Just watch out when they come back to you after the election though.

Joe Anderson has run a very successful line in taking cash of private developers, and not worrying too much about what they might expect in return for greasing your way into power.

Luciana too is not afraid to accept money from friends with interesting reputations.

Private Landlord Anwar Ansari handed over £4000 to help fund Luciana, despite his involvement in a major donations scandal in 2008 when he helped fund Alan Johnson's bid to be Labour deputy leader, as reported by those well known Tory rags, the Daily Mirror and the Grundian.

According to reports, a penniless migrant who arrived on a student visa, Waseem Siddiqui, handed over thousands to Johnson's campaign despite not knowing who the now Shadow Chancellor was. He later admitted that he was acting as a proxy. Purely by coincidence Mr Siddiqui's landlord just happened to be one Anwar Ansari.

This isn't the first time Mr Ansari has been caught in controversy. In 2006 he was selected to be a Labour candidate in Croydon's council elections. Mysteriously he was vetoed as a candidate by Labour's ruling NEC. No explanation has ever been given but Labour insiders suggested to the Mirror that a person's fitness for office was a possible reason for the NEC taking this unusual step.

Neither has there been any explanation as to why Mr Ansari should choose to donate to a candidate standing so far away from Croydon.

In what we are sure is another astonishing coincidence, an Anwar Ansari has submitted a number of controversial planning applications (including one for a 63 bed hostel) in Liverpool that have been refused.

By yet further coincidence, someone by the same name has also got property and planning application interests in Greater Manchester, where Mr Ansari also happens to spread his benevolence towards the Labour party.

Isn't it amazing the sort of coincidences that can be found when one spends a few minutes researching on the internet? It's a pity Liverpool hasn't got any investigative journalists, instead of leaving it to a poor old border collie to dig up the dirt.

Oh and proving she hasn't given up her Camden links, another major donor to Luciana's campaign was Baron Mitchel of... Camden. You couldn't make it up.

Joe Who?

2010-11-17T18:13:00.000Z

More news from China, and Liverpool's disastrous £380,000 Liverpool day.

A major cock up on the communications front meant that many of the invited chinese bigwigs where unaware that Joe Anderson was leader of the council. Joe Who they asked, as they binned their invitations, deciding not to waste their time listening to anyone other than Warren Bradley!

Further damage was done to Liverpool's reputation, after Anderson broke with protocol and pushed in to speak before local civic dignitaries and then gave a dismal speech made without once looking up from his notes.

In what was perceived as a further snub, Anderson also used his time there to attempt to court a rival chinese city, a move widely seen as rude and disloyal towards his hosts and our twin city.

In the words of one officer speaking on condition of anonymity, "It was a diplomatic disaster! One visit (by Joe Anderson) has wrecked much of the goodwill built up during the rest of the Shanghai expo."

So another fine investment by Labour then!

Perhaps Joe should have watched some of those HSBC adverts demonstrating how a little local knowledge, and respect for local culture and etiquette, can stop you looking like a complete arse.

Joe picks Manc champ

2010-11-16T17:51:00.000Z

Despite a flourishing Liverpool Chinese community and the oldest Chinatown in Britain, Joe Anderson drove up the M62 to find a champion for Liverpool's Chinese business community.

Appointing Dr Lee Kai Hung, who is Deputy Lieutenant of Greater Manchester, Joe outraged many in the city's chinese community, many of whom are based in his own ward, after he failed to consult with them before picking Dr Hung to be their champion.

Purely by coincidence, Dr Lee Kai Hung is founder of Leepark Properties Ltd, who have been a major donor to the Manchester Labour Party this year, in an unsuccessful attempt to unseat Lib Dem MP John Leech.

Is Joe now courting Dr Hung to become part of his growing portfolio of property developers that have been bankrolling the local Labour party?

‘Surely the rich have suffered enough?’

2010-11-15T17:46:00.000Z

While the coalition are at least working to make sure the pain of clearing up Labour's economic mess is shared out (such as the latest £10bn tax haul from Brits with Swiss bank accounts), a telling line from the Labour-Lib Dem negotiations in May shows us the rich would have got off lightly if Labour were trying to fix the economy.

An outraged Mr Balls, objecting to nasty Lib Dem plans to cut taxes for the low paid, raise pensions and introduce a pupil premium argued 'We have all these expensive Lib Dem pledges,' said Balls, 'but how do we fund them, and cut the deficit?'

Lib Dem David Laws then explained: 'Look, Ed, as you know we are proposing that the higher personal allowance is funded by progressive tax reforms of the type I would have thought Labour would support - higher capital gains tax, a new mansion tax and reform of pensions taxation.'

An outraged Peter Mandelson spluttered, 'Surely the rich have suffered enough?'

So there we have it. A 4th term Labour government would have been too frighted of upsetting their rich friends, do nothing for the poorest in the nation, and leave everyone in between to pick up the tab for the financial mess.

In fact the only financial concession made was by Ed (tea-boy) Rubberband who stumped up for tea and pastries.

Amazingly, even the Tories were more willing to tax the rich and ease the burden on the poorest in society. And so children, that is how all the left wing policies that Labour refused to consider, found their way into government policy.

And we are all still waiting to see how Labour would propose cutting the deficit, while making cuts that didn't really hurt anyone, least of all the rich.

Greedy mini-Joe

2010-11-12T13:43:00.004Z

In taking on his new role as "people and organisational change champion", Joe Anderson's right hand man and "enforcer" mini-Joe Hanson has been awarded a £6,500 Champion Allowance.

Apparently his role involved many arduous meetings with unions, although how much of that is truly Council business instead of Labour party business? And if the job is to lighten Anderson's load, shouldn't the swag come from the pile big Joe has grabbed for himself?

I have since been passed some interesting information that will surprise many of the Labour councillors who voted for Hanson's handsome pay out.

It seems that, despite claims that this new champion role has become a full time job for mini-Joe, he claims FIVE salaries from council tax payers!

£10,000 as an ordinary councillor

£5,600 to represent Liverpool on Merseytravel

£4,500 as chairman of a Merseytravel committee

£3,600 as deputy chairman of another merseytravel committee

and now a £6500 Champion payout.

Making a grand total of over £30,000 a year, on top of his Jaguar pension.

I'm sure Joe thinks his pay rise is "champion" as they say in Yorkshire, but will that view be shared by day centre staff soon to face the sack? Or the many Labour backbench councillors kept in the dark and on a shoestring?

All he wants is a little respect!

2010-11-11T22:37:00.002Z

Don Anderson has been working hard to cement his position as head of the Labour Mafia in Liverpool.

Already proving himself to be "untouchable" after he escaped investigation for apparently (according to the Echo) tipping off Labour councillor Ben Williams about a child porn investigation, allowing 207 files to be deleted before the cops arrived.

Now he's bullied the police into dropping charges of using a mobile phone while driving with claims that our hard pressed police made it up and were prepared to lie in court - well it's hardly a charge of tax evasion, but it would have done for starters!

Last night, I'm told, he stood up in the council chamber and publicly threatened the inoffensive and universally popular councillor Pat Moloney, with a warning that he would "see him on the streets later!"

I believe a police report may be pending, but will untouchable Don Joe have his collar felt?

Meanwhile I fear for my former pal Dude, lured over to the dark side after Don Joe made him an offer he couldn't refuse, he recently confided in me that he's been questioning his decision to jump into bed with the Labour Mafia.

Now no one seems to have seen him for the past few days and I am starting to fear that he might have received two pairs of concrete paws from his new colleagues.

If anyone out there has seen or heard anything, please let me know as we are all worried about him.

Save our jobs

2010-11-08T07:28:00.000Z

Lovely Luciana and our other courageous Labour MPs voted to spare themselves from a "vicious cut" that would reduce the number of MPs by 50!

Critics say that MPs shouldn't be spared when everyone else is facing cuts, but surely we need more MPs not less. Liverpool MPs wouldn't be able to cope with anymore workload, and have effectively already suffered a massive pay cut now they can't claim for food or speculate in property at the taxpayer's expense.

After all, MPs like Luciana are now having to fill in surveys to raise extra cash, as Sally rather unfairly pointed out.

Worse still, Luciana could be the one to who faces the sack. Under the plans Liverpool is likely to lose one MP, and just a glance at the city's political map shows that Luciana is the obvious "piggy in the middle". Will any of the other four be willing to walk the plank for her?

Now I'm going to get myself a banner and protest. Save our MPs!!!

At last! One Labour liar gets caught out

2010-11-05T12:45:00.001Z

It couldn't have happened to a nicer bloke, well perhaps Joe Anderson, but a senior Labour minister has been found guilty of spreading lies and racial hatred in a bid to hold on to his seat.

Phil Woolas will now be booted (we can only hope literally) out of parliament and face a massive legal bill, thanks to a campaign described by his own campaign team as designed to get white working class sun readers angry.

It clearly throws into doubt the judgement of Ed Rubberband for making him a Shadow Minister when he knew the judges were still considering their verdict. It's even more insulting to make someone your spokesman on a sensitive subject like immigration, after a clearly and blatantly racist campaign. Perhaps he will now join the BNP where he should feel more at home.

Clearly there are a number of parallels with Luciana Berger's campaign, designed to portray the Lib Dems as somehow running an anti-jewish campaign against her. In one case, she even ran off to the Jewish Chronicle with an anonymous leaflet, which she tried to portray as being from her Lib Dem opponents, even though she knew that it was the Lib Dems who had reported it to the police.

My sources tell me that this has carried on since the election, with a few Lib Dems building up a dossier of evidence for a slander case from a number of people who have heard her label them as "anti-semitic".

Better start filling in more surveys to help cover those legal costs.

Nice work if you can get it

2010-11-03T20:58:00.002Z

As if being an MP wasn't highly paid enough, the enterprising Luciana Berger has found out that there are even more lucrative sidelines to be had.

While many of her constituents would have to work a 12 hour shift to earn £75 just so they can put food on the table, Lucy is able get the same payment by simply "filling in a survey" - 20 minutes work by her own estimate or £225 per hour!

Some have to stack shelves to make ends meet, but filling in surveys has become a nice little earner for our Lucy, some earning her up to £150 - nice work if you can get it.

She also earns £200 an hour writing bimonthly articles for Public Affairs News - no I've never heard of it either! Apparently it advertises itself as "essential reading for lobbyists" now there lies a can of worms waiting to be cranked open! She even twitters for them!

Still, you can't expect a girl to get by on a mere £64,000 a year, not when there is a collie keeping a beady eye on your expenses!

Con-Dem cuts

2010-10-20T16:07:00.002+01:00

I was with Joe in the chauffeur driven car (perks of office eh!) listening to the spending review on the radio, and we where both left apoplectic (well Joe was only apoplectic after I explained what the word meant) .

So this is what the Con Dems are doing

A 19% cut in government funding - taking us back to 2006 levels - instead of the more responsible 20% cut Labour promised before the election. How irresponsible can you get?

What's more, they won't even be cutting the NHS - even though Alistair Darling pledged to include them in our 20% cut!!! Instead they are taking it out on poor higher rate taxpayers like poor Joe Anderson.

Highlights include:

Permanent tax on banks
axing tax relief on people who save more than £50,000 a year in their pensions
benefits cuts for the rich
£900 million crackdown on rich tax evaders
higher capital gains tax for rich

Even more irresponsibly, the con-dems plan to increase spending, including:

More money for schools
a £7bn "premium" for poorest pupils
more money for the NHS
£2billion for social care
More cancer drugs to be made available
More investment in transport (including £100 million for Liverpool's railways)
150,000 new affordable houses
75,000 apprenticeships every year
£1billion green investment bank
More overseas aid
£1bn regional growth fund

What do they think they are doing? We can't go on wasting money like this!

It's just lucky Gordon signed the contract for the two aircraft carriers before the election. Now it would have cost more to cancel them than to build them. Ha! We got you there!

Even worse, they plan to cut back on vital nuclear warhead, delay trident's replacement, cut back on fighter planes and cut back our armed forces to a level where we couldn't even afford to invade Iraq again!!!

After seeing how the country is being run by a bunch of lilly livered liberal lefties, it just makes me even more glad that I made the brave decision to defect to Labour this summer.

Councillor of Dibley

2010-10-07T13:39:00.001+01:00

Time for a lookalike of another of the new crop of Labour Councillors. Apparently this was sent to Dude a couple of months ago, yet he refused to publish it.

Don't recall Dude refusing to publish cruel lookalikes of Lib Dems before Joe dangled a sausage in front of him. The phrase "two faced hypocrite" comes to mind!

So here it is, Warbreck's own Councillor of Dibley, Maria McEvoy. A spitting image for Dibley's dippy Alice Springs Tinker. Enjoy!

Letting the cat out of the bag

2010-10-06T12:12:00.005+01:00

A bit of a cock up on the con-dem front yesterday, after big Joe accidentally admitted that a forth term Labour Government would have slashed services for deprived communities.

In an interview on fat cat pay, Joe inadvertently said, “I made it clear BEFORE THE ELECTION that at a time when the government is withdrawing millions of pounds in funding to our most deprived communities, it is essential this burden is borne fairly and not solely on the backs of the lowest earners."

Err, with the greatest respect Joe, you have gone a bit off message there. We aren't admitting any more that a Labour Government would have made cuts, particularly not ones that would have hurt anyone.

(That way we can portray every con-dem cut as evil, such as taking child benefit off poor people earning more than £44,000 a year - even poor working class folk like Joe himself will loose out, outrageous!)

I thought that Waddington's job was to protect Joe, not print slip ups like this. Why didn't he spot this? I only wish I had been in the pub to sound the alarm, instead of being sent off to purchase the meat pies.

massage the figures

2010-09-28T18:39:00.002+01:00

Dude's comments yesterday about Labour membership figures yesterday got me thinking about where these 32,000 extra members Labour claim to have gained since May actually are (a third supposedly from the Lib Dems remember).

Why haven't we seen them at the conference? Line them up ate to the podium to tear up their membership card and condemn the con dems. Otherwise we will assume you have only got what we can see, half a dozen people and a feeble minded canine blogger!

The figures revealed in the leadership ballot result work out at 177,559 members, that's 559 more than they reported in may 2007.

Meanwhile I am informed that Lib Dem membership has increased by over 4000 since May, while just 500 have resigned or failed to renew their membership.

So it looks like Labour's story of mass defection is as much spin as their stories of Charlie Kennedy's imminent transfer to the red team.

Give it up lads, it's fairy stories like this that have stopped people believing anything you say.

Thoughts from the conference floor

2010-09-27T13:55:00.000+01:00

Finally got online to update you on the Labour leadership.

As you may have heard Ed-Mili won the backing of my fellow Labour members. Err, well, actually he didn't! The majority actually backed David Mili, and I can actually give you the exclusive figures for Liverpool, which are pretty similar to the national figures.

David 399 votes Ed 308 votes

So how did the party end up with the candidate it didn't want? Union votes from those wonderful people who hand over fat cheques to the party every time we are on the verge of bankruptcy. Money talks eh?

So Ed wins by less than a 1% margin, as long as you don't include the 36,562 ballots that didn't get counted. Unfortunately 10% of people forgot to tick the box on the ballot paper saying they support the Labour party - yes that almost caught me out too.

I must admit I am relieved that Andy Burnham didn't win (even though the majority of Walton members backed him).

Don't get me wrong, I would be proud to have a Scouser lead my party, but not one who tells journalists that his favourite word in the english language is "gobsh*te" - it hardly projects the most favourable image of our city.

So who did I vote for? Now that he's won I can admit to backing the winning side, as so many will over the next few days! Well, the lovely Luciana told me to.

Meanwhile spare a thought for poor John Prescott, the overwhelming winner of party votes to be treasurer, who was utterly defeated once the union block vote was added.

Still trying to get me head round how Labour democracy works, but isn't it a pity all elections can't be fought this way?

Conference glee

2010-09-24T12:19:00.002+01:00

Sorry for not posting this week, I'm still getting over my glee club hangover - I've never had so many saucers of beer put in front of me!

For those of you who don't know, the Glee Club is the last night of conference Liberal get together and sing song.

Far from the despondency and defections predicted by Labour, everyone joined in to mock Labour's arrogant believe that the Lib Dems exist just to act as a life raft for failed Labour governments.

A rendition of "The Pink Flag" went down well, but not as popular as "Lib Lab lie" (to the tune of "American Pie" complete with the memorable chorus:

"So bye, bye to the great Lib Lab lie

That it's made in heaven,

'cos that's pie in the sky

Us Lib Dems will take courage and cry

Tony Blair can F*** OFF and die

Tony Blair can F*** OFF and die"

Actually plenty of Labour readers might enjoy that one!

So on to Manchester, when we will find out which Rubberband will take over stretching the truth for the Liebour Party.

Rumour has it that Labour's highest profile defector will be addressing conference. No not Charlie Kennedy, that was just another Labour lie. Step forward Liverpool's great turncoat, and head up to the podium Dude. You must be barking mad!

2010-09-19T18:28:00.000+01:00

Another day protesting against the condems, and this time people actually turned up to join us, perhaps they got the day wrong, or didn't want to be associated with yesterday's Labour only event.

Plenty of shouting and tub thumping going on by those of us willing to brave the rain, it's just that I can't help wondering if we were wasting our time.

Yet again the police kept us so far back from the conference centre that I don't think any of my former Lib Dem friends could see or hear us.

In the end we all just laid down our arms (or placards) and surrendered to the rain. Unfortunately my new Labour friends don't seem to share my concern for the environment, leaving The Strand strewn with litter and placards in a scene akin to Bill Bryson's famous festival of litter.

I can't help but feel that the sight of a filthy Liverpool street won't be a more lingering image for these thousands of visitors to take home than our rather lame protest. As much as I love them, sometimes your friends can be such an embarrassment, don't they realise that it's now a Labour council that will have to clean up their mess?

Dude day

2010-09-18T18:39:00.001+01:00

Had fun today leading the demo against my former Con-Dem friends.

My new Labour comrades even chose to call the event "dog day" in my honour. Bless them. They really know how to make me feel welcome.

OK there was only about 20 of us, but we made our presence felt, even though those nasty Lib Dems got us banned from protesting outside the conference center by using our own anti-terror laws against us.

I even had to suffer the indignity of having an over-familiar sniffer dog sticking it's nose up my bottom. Talk about being deep searched!

How illiberal can you get? Don't they realise that we brought those laws in to repress our own opponents, they have no right to use them against is. It's just a sign of how right wing the yellow Tories have become!

Oh well, looking forward to a bigger protest tomorrow, paws crossed I don't get my fur wet again.

love and licks,

Dude

Where's Wendy?

2010-09-15T16:42:00.000+01:00

Wendy Simon, unfairly described on Roger Philips during the general election as "local mediocrity" by a Wavertree Labour member, became one of the first cabinet members to claim her free trip to China this week.

I am told that in order to avoid any embarrassment to Wendy, who is up for election next May, the Council have refused to disclose how much this trip is costing taxpayers. But rest assured it was a pretty penny.

Personnel affairs

2010-09-13T19:55:00.000+01:00

Randy Alan Dean is well known for having an eye for the ladies, particularly those under his command! So much so that his affairs have apparently already cost him two marriages.

His second wife is rumored to have walked into the Labour office in the Municipal Buildings and found him in a compromising position with a council official he was working with.

Since then, he has become a big cheese in Merseytravel, where he rose to the rank of Chair of Personnel.

Now Alan is a man who likes to take an in-depth interest in his portfolio, so it's perhaps no surprise that his interest turned to his director of personnel, and his interest became morepersonal than personnel!

A conflict of interest, you would think? So of course, as you would expect, he quickly resigned from that role? Answers on a post card please! (hint - the answer has two letters and begins with "n")

Willkommen Deutschland

2010-09-10T11:20:00.000+01:00

One of the biggest surprises on this blog is how big an international hit it has been, particularly with the 1245 of our German friends who logged on to this blog in August alone.

Wherever in the world you are reading this, Dude and I extend you a warm Scouse welcome, and hope you keep coming back to the web's number 1 source for Liverpool politics!

Oh and in answer to your question, no Liverpool politics isn't all like this. We just show you the warm and fluffy side of the town hall capers!

Labour busters

2010-09-08T18:55:00.000+01:00

Croxteth is well known for it's haunted hall, so widespread stories of ghosts in and around the area come as no surprise. It has even been suggested that they need to call in some sort of ghost-buster.

Yet Labour sources tell me that ghostly activity has recently been increasing in Croxteth, and there are even rumours that the infamous Stay Puft Marshmallow Man has been spotted stomping the streets (although not too often).

Playing sardines

2010-09-07T18:38:00.000+01:00

Dude, I warned you that I will keep retaliating every time you post your Labour supporting drivel!

Perhaps you should try looking at what Mac the Knifeman is going to cut next?

Top of the list appears to be Millennium House, built at great expense by the last Labour Council, but now being considered for disposal.

So where are they going to put everyone, I don't hear you ask? Well, squash them all into the Municipal Buildings, or any other old building the council can't get rid off, seems to be the plan.

So perhaps not the best time to start sacking the cleaners eh? Soon to be slashed by the Mac-Anderson coalition.

No wonder most decent managers have already fled the sinking ship, those that is who haven't been forced to walk the plank because their faces don't fit.

Mac the Knife won't mind how crowded and smelly the offices get though, rumour has it he is currently being head-hunted!... ok, I'll let you make up your own jokes on that one.

Love,

Sally

Yes, we have no bananas!

2010-09-06T12:52:00.000+01:00

Great news for fellow fruit haters! Our fab new Labour Council has con-demed free fruit to the history books.

Apparently, the Lib Dems had been wasting £1000's of taxpayers money to force feed local school kids with bananas, apples, oranges and such muck. Where, I ask you, was the fun for me in scrounging off passing school kids, when all the could offer me was a piece of satsuma?

No more will I suffer the humiliation of kids pelting me with pieces of mangy melon! Labour have freed local kids to go back to scoffing much more wholesome options, crisps, chocolate, biscuits, yum! I am drooling already.

With any luck, they may also have saved enough money to tag me on to the next jolly to Shanghai, if I can find my passport.

Now Joe, any chance of chucking us a piece of your meat pie? No, I was only kidding... Please stop growling at me Joe!

We're all going on a... summer holiday

2010-08-03T11:48:00.004+01:00

You have to hand it to my mate Joe, he knows how to get the most out of being leader of the Council, not like my old Lib Dem chums.

Jim, sorry Joe, has fixed it for the ENTIRE cabinet to get an all expenses paid trip to Shanghai. Ten lucky Labour councillors will be jetting off on the rates, and Joe has promised that I might get a chance to tag along too if I play my cards right!

It just shows that he really knows how to look after his friends and could teach those Lib Dems more than a lesson or two about taking advantage of the reins of power.
So what have I been doing recently? Well here is another example of Joe's generosity. He recognised that all this animosity between Louise and me has been damaging the team spirit amongst the Labour ranks. So he kindly arranged for Louise and me to go on a getting to know each other holiday in Wales.

It was awkward for both of us on the first day, but on the second we both got drenched, which really broke the ice.

Afterwards we started to have a good time, but unfortunately neither of us took a camera. So the only photo I have is this one, sent to me by a fan who spotted us during a trip on the Lake Bala railway. (Also my new friend Charlie can be seen in the corner of the photo!)

Hitting the buffers

2010-07-14T12:41:00.000+01:00

Hardly a day goes by without another round of supposed job losses brought about by the coalition government, so spare a thought for all those Labour Councillors soon to be made redundant as their Quango gravy trains hit the buffers.

Top of the list is Beatrice Fraenkel, widely suspected to have defected in order to hold on to her fat pay cheque as an NHS quango chairwoman. Rosie Cooper anyone?

Formerly chair of South Liverpool PCT, Bea saw that her lucrative number would be up when facing merger with the Central PCT, chaired by former Labour Leader Gideon Ben-Tovim.

How different a change of party makes though, and she was quickly found a new place, as Chairwoman of Merseycare - now soon to be abolished.

Gideon Ben-Tovim did so well out of chairing the new Quango, he decided to give up the hassle and low pay of being a councillor altogether - a decision he may now regret.

Last but not least though, spare a thought for the rat that jumped from one sinking ship to another.

Kirkdale Labour Councillor Malcolm Kennedy saw what was coming, and jumped from his job at the North West Development Agency quango, applying for a job at Merseycare instead.

Apparently he was interviewed for the job by one Beatrice Fraenkel, who by pure coincidence also happens to now be a Labour Councillor for Kirkdale. Well it takes two to quango!

But the best laid plans of mice and dogs often go astray, and now both will be on the look out for new employment.

Are there any Labour Councillors out there on a quango not yet abolished? Have you room for two slightly worn second hand councillors?

hanging his head?

2010-07-12T12:31:00.002+01:00

I don't know what happened to Dude last week, perhaps he was hanging his head in shame after getting wind of Labour's plan to axe free leisure passes for the young and old.

As usual, the toadying Echo portray it as a coalition cut, even though most of the money comes from the Council, and Labour planned to cut off the government support next year anyway, with councils being left to take up the cost themselves.

Dude won't like me reminding you of the fanfare with which he greeted it's introduction by the Lib Dems of of free swimming and sports passes here, claiming that he believed in free swims for all.

So Dude, are you going to come out and condemn your new Labour masters, or are you just a hypocrite?

Pay him more!

2010-06-30T16:09:00.003+01:00

I can't believe all the fuss about Joe Anderson doubling his salary to a mere £52,000!

The man has selflessly given up his job to be leader of our great city, you can't expect him to survive on a poxy £31,000 a year? I wouldn't get out of my basket for that, and I am sure no-one else in the city wouldn't either.

The peasants expect to be led by someone bigger and better paid than themselves, and £52k certainly puts him head and shoulders above 95% of the local population, yet still leaves him trailing the (station) master of allowances - Merseytravel's Labour councillor Mark Dowd, who has collected a whopping £60k through clever use of multiple allowances and expenses.

Still, at least it puts him back ahead of Alan Dean, who enraged many in the leadership when they discovered he was raking in almost £50k a year, plus fees as a consultant advising councillors across the country in his spare time.

I just don't know how our great benefactor can afford to give us his services so cheaply. Although he did admit that he will still be made better off by giving up his job than if he gave up being leader.

Even so, think of all the additional expenses he has, such as buying drinks for that nice journalist Mr Waddington, surely he can claim back the cost through an "entertainment allowance?" I for one feel guilty for paying him a rate that so undervalues his talents. So today I start my campaign. Go on Joe, have the courage to double it again!

Mac's knives are out

2010-06-29T08:06:00.001+01:00

Mac the Knife may have struck his first blow, as Peter Cosgrove, the Council Officer in charge of investigating the Liverpool Direct contract suddenly found himself suspended, just days after LDL Chief Executive David McElhinney took the Council reins of power following Comrade Joe's purge.

Well known for bearing grudges and with a reputation for bullying anyone that opposes him, he was originally employed as former Chief Executive David Henshaw's rottweiler. He is certainly someone you cross at your peril.

Union officials have been left perplexed, as Mr Cosgrove was sent home over alleged "discrepancies in Council Tax collection", a department he hadn't run for over 4 years.. and no one had actually told him what he is in fact accused of.

The simple fact may be that Cosgrove is just another face that doesn't fit under the new regime.

Maiden speech

2010-06-28T13:35:00.001+01:00

Someone kindly pointed out that we missed out reporting on this story this month, obviously we can't trust Dude to report such things anymore!!!

In a long rambling speech which demonstrated that lightweight Lucy Berger wasn't even qualified to read out loud, she bored the house about St Hilda's school in Picton and Archbishop Blanch School in Wavertree,

The simple fact that neither school is actually in her constituency is bad enough, but that she managed to place both schools miles outside their true location is a demonstration of world class incompetence, showing that Luciana is preparing to join the illustrious ranks of Dan Quayle, George Bush and John Prescott.

This didn't stop toadying Echo journalist Dave Bartlett from claiming that the speech was "well researched"!

Fortunately she didn't get to finish, as her rambling overran the alloted time, something she herself described on twitter as "sad"! But sadder for the people of Wavertree to be represented by such a bimbo.

Can't get out of bed

2010-06-25T07:17:00.000+01:00

I am told that ever since the Cabinet System was imposed on Council's by Labour, meetings have been held at 9am, with a informal 8am meeting beforehand.

Rumour has it that that lazy Joe has, as of today, moved the meeting to 10am.

Obviously, now that he has given up work to sit full time in the Municipal Buildings eating Sayers pasties, there is little reason for him not to have a lie in, when he is not jetting off to Egypt and other exotic destinations at our expense.

A little domestic difficulty

2010-06-23T17:26:00.002+01:00

Domestic life could be a bit awkward for my friend Roz Gladden over the next few weeks.

The new Labour council is rightly slashing 9 out of 12 day centres (I don't know why the Lib Dems though the taxpayer should subsidise the elderly sitting around all day?)

Slasher Roz is leading the cause, as Executive Member for Social Care, while her union leader hubby Roy (a former militant councillor) leads the fight against.

Unions have pledged to use "ever method available" to stop the closures. I wonder if this refers to strikes or the withholding of nookie and DIY activities?

Subject for a freedom of information request perhaps.

technical difficulties

2010-06-22T06:02:00.000+01:00

Sorry I havn't been posting recently, I havn't forgotten about you all, honest!

A few technical difficulties turned into a nightmare after I brought in a neighbouring computer "expert" (trading as Mr Technocat - let the cat fix your mouse) to upgrade my increasingly slow PC.

I got a photo of him at work, one of the rare occasions when he actually turned up as promised and didn't disappear when my back was turned.

This is what happens when you do something on the cheap. I understand he was also working on a (now cancelled) government IT contract, which was running 6 years late and £18billion over budget, so I suppose I am lucky to be back on line at all!

More fallout

2010-06-03T15:15:00.000+01:00

More fallout from my shock defection and appointment as canine champion today.

My nemesis The Bulldog growled at me today and told me that she would be waiting in the wings for a chance to get me.

Just jealously I'm sure, since I know she always wanted my job. But I know I am safe as long as I have Big Joe's protection.

It just goes to show that because you become someone's colleague, it doesn't make them your friend.

Another comedian

2010-06-02T08:46:00.001+01:00

With all the jokers already in the Labour party, you wouldn't think there would be room for another one.

But you'd be wrong.

Step forth the erudite Mr Francis, newly elected councillor for Anfield.

What he doesn't know about housing and regeneration would fill one of the many liverpool libraries that Labour will be closing in the next few months.

So instead they have put him on the education committee, in the hope that he will learn something. Still at least he has never been charged by the police with wife beating, so he's one up on his colleague in the neighbouring ward.

Falling out

2010-05-31T08:34:00.000+01:00

Dear readers,

I have spent the week in a quandary, do I carry on contributing to this blog?

I am still reeling with shock at news of Dude's decision to join the dark side. I thought Dude was my friend, but he didn't even have the decency to discuss his decision with me first.

For the record, I will not be joining him, not now, not ever. In fact I really now need to consider if I am still willing to remain friends with him. I feel sick just at the thought that I have allowed Dude to sniff my bottom from time to time. Although I have resisted any further advances from him.

So do I carry on? Well yes I have decided I must, more now than ever. I owe it to all of you dear readers to make sure you get to hear both sides of the story.

But Dude, you'd better stay out of my way for a while, grrrrrrrr!

next to go...

2010-05-28T09:03:00.001+01:00

Hot on the heals of Colin Hilton, I can exclusively reveal that Education boss Stuart Smith will be the next to jump ship before he is pushed.

My new friends in the Labour group tell me that the former Toxteth English Teacher is widely seen as a face that "doesn't fit" despite an admittedly impressive record (alongside Colin Hilton) of raising education standards and exam results in Liverpool.

Other top names they are also questioning include Assistant Chief Executive Ben Dolan and Regeneration chief John Kelly.

I must admit though, after the £1/2 million bill for axing Hilton I am a bit concerned that we will be landed with another big bill for clearing the lower ranks.

I just hope Joe doesn't have to resort to selling a few parks off to that nice Mr Flanagan to pay for it all. Yes I know I am now loyal to Labour, but I still like to enjoy my walkies.

I told you so

2010-05-27T13:54:00.001+01:00

So, as I exclusively revealed, David - The Rottweiler - McElhinney has been cleverly shoehorned in by our glorious leader and will act as our new Chief Executive - and what a masterstroke!

At a meeting yesterday to force out Colin - The Pidgeon - Hilton, Joe had to repeatedly attack bad boy Bradley for asking awkward questions. In the end Joe even had to threaten to have the Lib Dem thrown out of the meeting.

First the meeting agreed to the enforced "retirement" of Colin Hilton at a cost of erm, just under £1/2 Million! But boy it must be worth every penny, I think.

But at least Joe had a cunning plan to spot any embarrassing details leaking out. The reports where tabled at the meeting, and had to be handed back at the end.

Yet Joe's final coup-de-grace was yet to come!

An unexpected report was suddenly placed on the table shortlisting 4 potential candidates for Hilton's replacement, before announcing that two of the candidates didn't actually want the job anyway.

So Joe decided to go ahead and interview both candidates, Dr McElhinney and Cath Green, there and then.

A done deal? You might very well think that, however I couldn't possibly comment. However I can confirm that Dr McElhinney got the job and it will be confirmed later today... but then as regular readers of my blog you knew that days ago didn't you?

The Rottweiler's back

2010-05-25T13:07:00.002+01:00

I couldn't wait until tomorrow to feed you this titbit I received from my new leader today.

Just days after forcing out Colin (The Pigeon) Hilton it seems that another old face is being brought back to replace him.

Dr David McElhinney (known as the Rottweiler) will be installed as Chief Executive - the role he always dreamed of.

How this will affect his relationship with the evil Liverpool Direct which Joe and comrades so rightly oppose, is not yet clear.

I am somewhat confused though. Only a few years ago, another Labour blog was accusing the same Dr McElhinney of escaping with millions of taxpayers cash and Joe was even calling for a police investigation.

Oh well, we all have to make u-turns once we are in office don't we?

Perhaps Joe can appoint him AND have him investigated at the same time!

Lots of love and licks to my new Labour friends,
Dude

Try me free

2010-05-25T07:29:00.000+01:00

OK so I haven't just been dreaming of sausages for the past two weeks.

I took a few days off to visit my friends in Linconshire and... I tremble in anticipation at the outrage that will come from my Lib Dem readers, I have been having a chat with Mr Anderson about how best I can continue my contribution to Liverpool's political scene.

Our city's new glorious leader has announced that he plans to create several new "champion" roles for the city, and he approached me to ask if I would be willing to take on the role of Liverpool's Canine Champion.

Of course, there is a string attached. I am expected to join the Labour party. But luckily Joe has offered me Labour's much trumpeted 6 month free trial membership.

Part of me feels disloyal to my readers in the Lib Dems, but from a blogging point of view it will be interesting to be able to offer an insight into the inner workings of the other team, and I hope my old readers will stick with me.

Please don't be too cross with me.

Lots of love and licks,

Dude

P.S. I still don't know how Sally will react to this news, but we could end up with a blog that genuinely represents both sides of the political divide.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2010-05-07T05:18:00.001+01:00

Labour Landlords

2010-05-04T14:39:00.003+01:00

Imagine waking up to the sound of someone nailing a labour sign to the side of your home?

This is what has happened to dozens of Wavertree residents, whose landlord have attached Luciana boards to the side of their homes and in the windows of countless empty properties.

So why are slum landlords so desperate to support Labour? What will they be getting after Thursday if the thug wins?

Are these the same developers who have also given Joe Anderson £50,000 for his election campaign, together with free cup-final tickets and lavish hospitality?

Putting them in their place

2010-04-28T07:44:00.000+01:00

Eight jobs Alan

2010-04-27T08:43:00.000+01:00

Hot on the heals of Merseytravel's fat-cat controller, we have his deputy: Liverpool Labour Councillor Alan Dean.

Liverpool basic salary: £9,879

Labour chief whip salary: £4,585

Merseytravel basic: £5,688

Merseytravel Deputy chair:£12,896

Committee Chair: £4,666

deputy committee chair: £3,883

panel chair: £5,737

Making a grand total of: £47,334

...and he still finds time to work as a "self employed consultant" training other councillors across the country - presumably in how to milk the system.

cooking the register

2010-04-26T08:35:00.000+01:00

Political relatives can be a source of both pride and embarrassment, as these two posh lookalikes can testify. In both cases the dubious claim to fame is that they brought the country to it's knees.

While the lights went out on the economy after Lawson's disastrous handling of the economy, Manny Shinwell saw the lights litterally go out, after the then energy minister failed to ensure proper coal reserves during a bitter winter.

Criminal connections

While claiming Labour is tough on crime, Luciana keeps quiet about her family's underworld connections - Ernest Shinwell was an "associate" of the notorious Kray Twins.

Of course while Nigella sticks to cook books, Luciana likes to feature in electoral registers instead, London...Birmingham... even temporarily in Liverpool.

The Berger Hill Show

2010-04-23T09:34:00.006+01:00

Luciana Berger is now turning into a national joke.

An hilarious article in today's Independent reveals how her campaign has descended into chaos.

A Sunday newspaper was described as having to chase her "Benny Hill style" round a supermarket in an attempt to get an interview, after fleeing her constituency office.

She even ran away from the Independent's journalist, and when she finally agreed to answer emailed questions, she could only answer 3 out of 17.

Symbolic campaign

"Senior figures within the local party, speaking on condition of anonymity, have described the running of the campaign as "shambolic". There have been reports of up to 30 workers turning up to canvass but being left to sit around with nothing to do. Others are said to have objected to the quality of the material they have been asked to deliver."

Is Baldock being sacrificed?

" Local councillors asked to argue her case fear they are in danger of being sacrificed to save her."

Well, there is only one local Labour councillor up for election. My blogging nemesis Louise Baldock. Sound like the former regional press officer could well be the "inside source".

One traditional Labour voice described the campaign as an example of the "worst excesses of New Labour". Opponents say that concerns over the quality of the candidate are now being realised. "They are afraid that if she is allowed a bit of freedom she will not only make a faux pas but run the risk of boring everyone to death," the source said.

Luciana, it's time for you to get your coat!

Fat-Cat Controller

2010-04-22T08:31:00.000+01:00

The highest paid councillor in the country?

Well certainly a contender. It's Merseytravel's fat controller, Labour Councillor Mark Dowd, who I am told rakes in a cool £60k thanks to a cosy deal with the Tories who keep him in power,

Sefton Council salary: £8850

Merseytravel basic: £5,688

Various "special responsibility

allowances": £37,242.16

expenses: £7856.05

total: £59636.96

and that was for 2008/09, no doubt it's gone up since them. Thanks to the whistle blower who passed me the figures.

Aren't other Labour councillors ashamed of such greed?

Not singing but queuing

2010-04-21T07:42:00.002+01:00

Yesterday an amazing sight was witnessed at Liverpool's Municipal Buildings, as countless young people queued up to register to vote before the deadline. It was, I am told, a scene you would expect to see in a new democracy in the third world as people wait in line to claim their democratic rights.

Meanwhile a "Rage Against The Machine" campaign to get the Lib Dems to number 1 has attracted over 120,000 members and increasing by over 10,000 every day.

And as Cleggmania takes over the nation, it is noticeable how quiet Labour's more arrogant and bombastic commentates have become.

From Dale Street Blues to Vote 2007 and ukpollingreport, Labour councillors, bloggers and commentators, who have so often delighted in dismissing the Lib Dems, appear to be feeling far less cocky.

So guys and Louise, this one is for you.

Cat gets man in hot water

2010-04-20T08:30:00.002+01:00

In a relentless and hopeless effort by Joe Anderson and his barfly Waddington to smear Wavertree's MP in waiting, dirt has (literally) been dug up on the Lib Dem candidate's cat.

After his cat was suspected to have defecated in a Labour supporter's sandpit, Eldridge was facing Labour calls to apologise and immediately have the cat put down.

The repulsive act is being reported as part of an offensive anti-zionist/homophobic/racist/anti-Christian/fascist/crypt-communist (pick at least one of the above) slur, potentially leading to international condemnation and questions in the European Parliament.

In a damming report in tomorrow's Daily Post, Eldridge is briefly allowed to point out that he doesn't actually own a cat, before Joe Anderson is quoted demanding his resignation anyway.

"The fact the cat had previously been seen sitting on Eldridges's wall proves he is associated with it. Nothing less than his resignation and the cat's immediate destruction will be acceptable," said Labour's Councillor Joe Anderson.

Louise Baldock seized on the news, immediate blogging that this fascist feline outrage was proof that even Eldridge's mother-in-law can't still be planning to vote for him after this.

The report will be repeated in the Daily Mirror the following day, minus Eldridge's statement.

The bash street kids

2010-04-19T07:50:00.000+01:00

Another lookalike for you all.

The "Little Boys at the Garmoyle"

The Bash Street Kids

I agree with Nick!

2010-04-16T15:19:00.001+01:00

After watching last night's debate I was impressed to see Gordon Brown saying something I can completely support.

Coming soon...

2010-04-16T08:39:00.003+01:00

If London Luciana thought she was having a hard time, things are about to get far worse.

My sources tell me that, following a tip off from a disgruntled Labour insider, Camden Berger is about to be hit by a major bombshell that will blow a hole in her campaign.

I've been sworn to secrecy, but watch the national papers for a major revelation.

Until now, its been like being slapped with a small fish. But there is always something in reserve...

...because I'm worth it

2010-04-15T08:10:00.000+01:00

Six "girls who can't be expected to know about football" but happy to talk about hair, makeup and anything else girlie girlie, so long as it's not policies.

I can find no better words than the poster on Dale Street Blues, who said:

"Labour might just as well install an electric rotisserie in Emily Davison's grave because, if she can see this, it will be like a spinning top in there!"

If there was ever a poster advert against all women short lists, this is it.

In defense of Dude

2010-04-14T08:40:00.000+01:00

I feel I must jump to the defense of my good friend Dude who has been unfairly slandered by soon to be ex councillor Baldock.

Dude has been accused of being a misogynist, as a liberated female dog (I object to the official term) this is not something I would stand for in any friend of mine.

So I spent some time looking back through Dude's posts to see if there was any truth to this accusation.

But first, Cllr Baldock's ridiculous accusation:

April 6, 2010 9:58 AM

Louise Baldock said:

I am not accusing Colin's campaign team of being misogynist, unless he is now acknowledging ownership of the Dude the Dog website. I was stating that the author of Dude the Dog blog is a misogynist. Who have the targets been? Me, Jane and Luciana mainly. Count how many comments are concerned with how we look, how we dress, unflattering photos of us. It is not about our views on housing regeneration or job creation etc, it is about our age, appearance, the state of play of our relationships etc. Dude the dog is a woman-hating blog.
This was my point.
Some of the responses above are red herrings. This is not about whether I am a feminist, or whether it was right for someone to write about the partner of a LibDem councillor getting a job in the LibDem group office without the job being advertised. I am talking about the hatred that Dude the Dog shows to women. That was why I used the word Dude/s in my post above. To distinguish the author(s) from the more decent majority of LibDems (men and women) who would never countenance such bile surely.

I can't find a single derogatory personal comment by Dude about Louise, Jane Kennedy or Luciana, and where unflattering photos have been used, they are actually photos that these three have put on their own websites. If they are that derogatory, why did you use them?

Has Dude taken the micky out of them? Well yes, it's a satirical blog. But if anything the only humans who have been the victims of derogatory comments about how they look have been men, particularly Joe Anderson and Sion Simon.

Have these three been particular targets? Well they have made themselves so.

Louise, if you write a vile blog abusing your opponents and calling them bast*rds, you are painting a large target on yourself.

Jane Kennedy's record as an MP was certainly nothing to be proud of, and Dude did a brilliant job exposing her expenses.

And Luciana Bating has become a popular sport in Liverpool amongst Journalists, politicians and the general public. She has been the greatest gift to any satirical dog.

All three are legitimate targets, and I can find no example of Dude overstepping the mark with them.

I know Dude is a big (small) dog and can look after himself. But he is a canine gentleman who is alway respectful towards females and I know that he finds such accusations hurtful.

I know many in the local Labour ranks are major fans of Dude, including at least one soon to be MP who has confessed to several Lib Dems how much he enjoys this blog.

After such a long fight to establish women in politics and demanding a right to be treated equally, it is demeaning to claim sexism ever time you are given a rough time.

Louise, you have lost the respect I had for you as a woman in politics.

Fading away

2010-04-13T08:39:00.000+01:00

Not gone, but already forgotten, Wavertree MP Jane Kennedy is already fading away from what limited public profile she had in her constituency.

Camden Berger

2010-04-08T08:20:00.000+01:00

Across Wavertree, stickers are appearing on doors from residents sick of Berger and takeaway flyers, as reported in the Daily Post's Brocklebank column, which described Luciana as a "tasty dish" but pointed out that she doesn't "come complete with French Fries and mayo".

So I was surprised when the following Berger advert landed in my mailbox this morning.

Something to chew over, but personally I would prefer a lamb shankley myself.

Bon appetit.

Fire up the status-quo

2010-04-06T07:58:00.001+01:00

As Gene Cameron (not David Hunt - wasn't he MP for Wirral West?) fires up the Quatro to take us back to the 80's, the Labservative Party launched their new local poster, as London Luciana poses with her party's joint leader just hours before her other leader calls the election.

Watch out for it coming to a bill board near you!

Labour campaign poster

2010-04-05T12:24:00.001+01:00

As Labour increasingly panic about Camden Berger, Gordon Brown has launched a new poster to help bolster her shambolic campaign.

Yet Brown was left confused when he realised that the posh public schoolgirl was actually the Labour candidate rather than a Tory challenger.

Jolly hockey sticks

2010-04-01T07:49:00.000+01:00

All this talk of Gordon Brown reverting back to a class warfare election campaign is making for uncomfortable reading for London Luciana.

After all, while Gordon is telling everyone that Cameron is a toff from Eaton, she'll be worrying that people will start to look closer at her education.

At £11,000 a year, the posh Haberdashers' Aske's school is a bit beyond the reach of families in Old Swan, as is the commute down to London. Not that you would imagine it to be home to traditional Labour voters.

So I wasn't surprised by the result of Haberdashers' mock elections last week, which saw a landslide Conservative victory.

Second and third places went to the Lib Dem's and UKIP, but the school couldn't even be bothered to report if Labour managed to cling on to 4th place against the greens.

Splash back

2010-03-31T07:54:00.000+01:00

I was out for my walk yesterday in the rain, and would you believe it a (Labour supporter or dog hater?) bus driver deliberately ran through an enormous puddle, leaving me completely drenched.

It's not funny! why do they do it?

When I got home I was shivering. I had to have my fur towelled dry and half an hour with the hair-dryer.

So I really had sympathy with the people in this video.

Party election broadcast

2010-03-30T21:47:00.004+01:00

http://www.labservative.com

What a swine?

2010-03-30T08:09:00.001+01:00

More antics from Luciana's obnoxious boyfriend came to light after one of my readers sent me this story where he charmingly compared star Susan Boyle to a pig.

He said: “I’m not saying Susan Boyle caused swine flu. I’m just saying that nobody had swine flu, she sang on TV, people got swine flu.”

Not surprisingly he was forced to apologise, not least because he chose to make the joke just as the death toll started to rise. No apology however was offered to Susan Boyle.

Louise Baldock declined to comment.

Joefeld

2010-03-29T07:52:00.000+01:00

As head of a sinister shadowy organisation, this particular villain always somehow manages to inexplicably survive from one thwarted escapade to another.

Yet you have to wonder if eventually one of his evil plots to gain power and money actually succeeded, whether his organisation wouldn't simply bump him of to replace him with a more respectable figure.

If the face fits...

2010-03-26T08:18:00.001Z

When making outlandish statements against your political opponents, you really need to stop and think twice about how it could turn around and bite you.

A classic example of this was exposed by Tom Morrison on his blog, after an online argument with my blogging nemesis, who was claiming that Labour leaflets are full of real people, "unlike Tom's leaflets".

Without wishing to spoil your enjoyment of Tom's article, he goes on to expose how Luciana's last glossy leaflet full of personal endorsements , was contained a number of "local residents" who are about as local as Camden Berger.

Not for the first time, I bet Luciana wishes you had kept your big mouth shut!

On facebook

2010-03-25T07:56:00.000Z

I have frequently been criticised for confining myself to one medium, i.e this blog, rather than branching out into the wider webshere to share my wisdom with a wider audience.

So at last I have launched my facebook fan page, which you can join by clicking on the logo.

My facebook page gives me the opportunity to include a feature requested by many regular readers. Photo-albums so you can easily trawl back trough my lookalike archive for your amusement.

I am amazed at how many fans I have already found, so why don't you pop over and join them?

I do draw the line at twittering though.

Have you ever tried typing on a mobile phone keyboard with paws like mine? I doubt it, but believe me it's not possible.

Incedent exposure

2010-03-24T08:34:00.000Z

Not yet gone, but soon forgotten, I realised it's been a long time since I updated you on the antics of my blogging nemesis.

Regular readers of the Vote 2007 forum were left shocked when Lou-Bo (under the nom-de-plume of oldwarhorse) exposed herself as penance for falsely accusing a forum poster of being a member of the odious BNP.

Someone else added to the exposure of my blogging nemesis recently, seemingly having followed her round taking pictures of her as she went about her business in town.

I really disapprove of such behaviour, and would urge you to stop such activities immediately.
I certainly never want to receive pictures like this,

and this, in my mail box again.

You have been warned. Grrrrr!

Minder(s)

2010-03-23T07:48:00.001Z

I'm told the first big debate of the election took place on Sunday night, unfortunately I wasn't there as the organisers chose to exclude canines from the proceedings.

Luckily I had my own undercover agents present.

I have previously reported on the number of minders Luciana seems to need as she goes about Liverpool, but this time she set a new record.

On less than seven Labour Councillors monopolised the front row of the hall to protect Luciana and deflect criticism from her, Jim Noakes, Liam Robinson, Beatrice Frankel, Anna Rothery, Steve Rotheram, the new Fazakerley councillor, and Irene Rainy.

After one woman heckled Luciana on the NHS, one of them interceeded and actually said "my wife works for the NHS, do you want to take it outside?" (Meaning of course, to talk about the issue)

Jim Noakes (aka Frank Sidebottom) tried to lead a cat-calling of Colin Eldridge, but Colin said "I see 7 Labour councillors in this room, and all you have done is hen-peck people" - to much applause.

With so many minders, perhaps they could draft in these two cockney geezers to help make her feel safer and more at home? It's certainly an obvious choice for a campaign song.

Mid life crisis man

2010-03-22T07:42:00.000Z

Nothing I could say about this obnoxious idiot could do him as much justice as his own Youtube video inviting people to sleep with Cameron's wife and take his children, or his arrogant tv interviews afterwards, as you saw here a few weeks ago.

He insists he's not a "proppa blogga" unlike his friend Tom Watson. In fact he is a "Proppa W*nkka" who makes the average Tory seem cuddly.

Really to compare him to our anti-hero from 80's comedy The Young Ones is an insult to a much loved TV character.
Talk about mid-life crisis. At 41 you are too old for a student hair cut, or to be going out with a 28 year old "glamorous" Luciana. What does she see in him? Surely not the "power" of him being a government minister?"

I don't say this lightly, but you have to think that when this former News of the World journalist abandoned his wife and two children, he was doing them a favour.

But as Sion would say, this is not offensive, its satire making an important political point. And if Sion is in any way offended by this, he should get in touch with me.

I want to hold your hand

2010-03-19T08:15:00.003Z

(That's the title of a song by a popular beat combo from Liverpool, who Luciana may not have heard of)

If there is one thing you would expect an expensive public school education to give you, it's self confidence.

Not so for young Luciana, who is apparently unable to canvass without Jane Kennedy at her side, and had to have the outgoing MP holding her hand for last night's ITV debate (which you can watch here).

Meanwhile, Picton campaigners tell me that she needed City Centre Labour Councillor Steve Mumby to take her to a community meeting in a local school.

He had to personally take her into the actual meeting, before quickly leaving looking rather embarrassed. Rather like a parent taking a shy toddler to a children's party.

"And this is Wavertree's prospective MP?" I hear you exclaim.

Surely most teenagers could represent themselves better than this? How would she cope with speaking in the bear pit of parliament? Not so much a "strong voice" but a squeak from behind the bench.

"Berger crumbles" say students

2010-03-18T07:50:00.001Z

While the voters of Wavertree eagerly await the broadcast of the first televised head to head debate between local candidates (tonight at 11.35 on ITV) JMU Journalism students have given us an advance review of London Luciana's performance.

Berger crumbles in Wavertree debate

"Wavertree's Labour candidate, Luciana Berger fell to pieces in the first debate of the Election campaign... When given 30 seconds to sell themselves in the debate at Riley's Snooker Hall near Picton Clock, Berger froze, clasping her hands over her head repeatedly saying: “Sorry, can we start again?"

Following the re-take, which saw Colin Eldridge reiterate his pitch on fairness for the electorate, the 27-year-old Labour hopeful spoke in an unconvincing manner about her confidence in the party.

The shaky start then got worse as Eldridge blamed the lack of funding for police and university students on Labour’s ID card scheme, which was met with a weak response by Berger.

Tory Garnett then hit the crumbling candidate with yet more blame: “For too long this Labour government has tied our police down through bureaucracy and bureaucracy.”

He also highlighted early releases from prison to be the cause of a surge in crime. After a lengthy pause, Berger could only reply: "I don't think that's right."

After the filming, Berger left swiftly with the current Labour MP for Wavertree, Jane Kennedy, whilst the other candidates mingled with the TV crew and spoke to JMU Journalism.

Despite numerous requests by JMU Journalism, Berger would not comment on her performance."

Oh dear, sounds like Labour's high flyer has had her wings clipped. And her request to start again is reminiscent of John Prescott's infamous "Sorry I made that cr*p" gaff.

So clearly the people of Wavertree are being offered a Labour candidate who is neither local nor competent. So what's left?

Admittedly Luciana is prettier than Eldridge, and has a red rosette. Do they really think that is enough?

It's chaos back there"

2010-03-17T07:42:00.000Z

These where the words of one Labour councillor when told by a kind Lib Dem that the same Burger leaflet was being delivered to a patch for the third time.

Perhaps it is no wonder that so many signs are appearing in windows to say that residents don't want to receive berger and takeaway flyers. They are just sick of receiving the same bland message.

What happened? Did you over-order and decide to keep on delivering until you ran out of leaflets?

Further evidence of Luciana's campaign being in chaos came as Tom Morrision's blog reported that Luciana's carefully targeted mailing was being sent to Lib Dem candidates and even the Lib Dem agent himself.

These are the sort of errors that a normal candidate would have fixed a year out from the election. Poor, very poor.

"Gota new mota?"

2010-03-16T07:59:00.001Z

As Dale Street Blues reported, poor hapless Luciana is in trouble again.

This time "Two Cars Burger" has been caught hiding her own car (with it's £5000 personalised number plate) at her parents house in London, while she drives her brother's more modest car around on the campaign trail in Liverpool, with Labour insiders admitting this is part of a ploy to prevent her looking "too posh for Liverpool".Surely this is in itself an insult and is nothing but a snob's view on Liverpool. Was Jane Kennedy ever attacked (even on this blog) for driving round Liverpool in an expensive Jaguar?

It reminds me of the Labour MP who used to drive up to the outskirts of his poor mining constituency in his Rolls Royce, and swap to a mini for the last couple of miles.

More interesting is her claim to need two cars because she had to have separate cars in Liverpool and London.

Is that because you are really still living in London and only coming "oop north" to campaign? If so, then fine. But didn't you claim in your first press release to have moved to Liverpool "last year?" That wouldn't have been a lie would it?

Fellow voyager

2010-03-15T08:33:00.000Z

A Mr Jimmy Kirk of Roddenberry Avenue wrote in to tell me that he had been away for the past 5 years, and was delighted to stumble across this enterprising blog on his recent flying visit.

He also predicted that Uncle Joe would be disappointed in May, as the Lib Dems cling-on to power, before offering up this potential lookalike of one of his fellow travelers.

Getting a rough time?

2010-03-10T08:10:00.000Z

I'm told that Lib Dem campaigners are getting daily stories from residents stopping them to proudly recount the abuse they have given to London Luciana.

This appear to be so bad that, as show in this image from Granada Reports, she needs three minders to protect her from abuse and help avoid any further gaffes.

REAL vile blogging

2010-03-09T08:29:00.000Z

Labour visitors to this blog often like to take the moral high ground, condemning my canine brand of humour, particularly relating to some of my sarcastic comments about Luciana.

So I invite you to watch Luciana's obnoxious toad of a boyfriend in action, condemning anyone who fails to see the "humour" of him inviting people to have sex with Cameron's wife and take his children away.

It won't surprise readers all that much to learn that he is a former journalist for The Sun's sister paper, The News Of The World. Says it all really!

See the face of vile Labour blogging and dare compare anything I have said to workings of this idiot.

Of course it won't stop them, because they are hypocrites.

Giza Holiday

2010-03-09T07:53:00.000Z

Uncle Joe Anderson has announced that his first act as Leader of the Council (snigger) would be to go on an all expenses paid jolly to Egypt.

What possible excuse could he find for such a jolly?

Well the campaign to bring HMS Whimbrel back to Liverpool stalled after the Egyptian government raised their asking price to £1 million.

"The £1m price is ridiculous and if I’m elected council leader, I shall go to Egypt to tell them this is not a commercial venture.” Liverpool Echo yesterday.

So apparently the trip is necessary as the only way to give the Egyptian defense minister that little nugget of information.

I have never been, but I am told they do in fact have telephones, email and can receive ordinary post in that country. Perhaps someone should tell Uncle Joe?

This is hot on the heels of Joe's bid to twin Liverpool with a city in South Africa in time for the world cup. No doubt this would involve even more arduous travel for our would be "Junket Joe", and on top of the £50,000 a year he could be planning to pay himself.

No wonder he is turning down the chance to be an MP. Not enough perks and travel opportunities!

You rang?

2010-03-08T09:36:00.002Z

We've already had Uncle (Joe) Fester and Morticiana Adams, so many thanks to the reader who send me this picture of the family's loyal servant Lurch.

Life in The Sun

2010-03-04T08:19:00.000Z

Many have said that the Labour leadership think the sun shines out of Luciana's... (how would Jim Royle put it?)

But Londoner Luciana failed to realise that following The Sun is a big no no in Liverpool. In fact I would go so far as to say I wouldn't have my own mess picked up with that rag!

The internet is awash with condemnation for happless Luciana for following The Sun "newspaper" on Twitter, with Liverpool FC supporters especially outraged.

Clearly if she had any real interst in Liverpool at all, she would have read up on key local events such as the Hillsborough tragedy and would understand why everyone was so upset.

More and more people are coming to the conclusion that she only cares about furthering herself and her own ambitions.

At first it was funny, but this has to be the final straw. Luciana, it's time you paid for your own ticket back to London, because the people of Liverpool are sure as hell not going to be sending you there to represent them.

Holy imitations

2010-03-03T08:01:00.001Z

While my pious Labour readers in Liverpool like to take the moral high-ground and condemn every satirical comment made by Sally and me, their colleagues over on the Wirral seem to have more of a sense of humour.

A reader referred me to the blog of Sister Mary of Wallasey, who seems to operate on a remarkably similar premise to the blog in front of you.

Sister Mary's blog is awash with lookalikes and political gossip. And even the disclaimer appears to have been copied from my humble little blog.

This is the satirical blog of Sister Mary of Wallasey and all entries are written in Mary's personal capacity.
It is in no way designed to represent the official (or unofficial) viewpoint of any political party or candidate, and is not within their control. A fellow sister in the Tory Party inspired Mary to bring this blog to life. You know who you are! Enjoy!

So I am waiting for my Labour readers to head over there and condemn their colleagues for their disgraceful mockery of the Catholic Church, and using a fake nun to hurle vile abuse at their opponents.

I won't hold my breath!

Now Labour want to tax your furry friend

2010-03-02T10:25:00.002Z

Sorry for the delay in today's update, there was some confusion between Dude & myself over who was posting today.

If there is one thing that can traditionally be said about the English, it's that you are a nation of animal lovers.

Rich or poor, young or old, many people value the companionship and protection offered by my species.

So it would seem like shooting yourself in the foot for any political party to impose a tax on dog ownership. But that is what Labour now plan.

When they should be cracking down on canine thugs and their shaven headed owners, in typical New Labour style they plan to hit everyone, from the Chihuahuab to the St Bernard with a stealth tax and make little old ladies sit an exam to decide if they should be allowed to keep their faithful friend and companion.

The plan has already been attacked by animal charities, who rightly point out that yobs will ignore the test, leaving responsible owners penalized.

I know that my elderly owner is already getting worried about this, and was getting upset at the prospect as she read her newspaper. In the end I had to put my head through the paper to cheer her up.

The blogosphere is already awash with angry comments, saying Labour want to ban the poor from having pets.

This is one ill thought out policy which seriously needs to be dropped.

'avin' a giraffe

2010-03-01T07:44:00.000Z

One of my regular readers on a visit to London spotted a likeness between this cockney geezer and the "Micky Mouse" Labour leader.

His history of bullying and thuggish behaviour has made him unpopular with many, so it's no surprise that the former pub landlord with a reputation for violence was voted number 2 in a poll of characters we most love to hate.

Always ranting when he's on our television screens, he usually ends up looking like a right bowler hat. And with rumours abound of plots to remove him in a few months, it looks like he could be well and truly rubber ducked!

Gotta dash, need to go outside for a "Rusty Lee"!

Please back Steve

2010-02-26T08:05:00.000Z

Regular readers will be surprised to see me trying to influence Labour party selections. But I can't sit back and watch Steve Rotheram pushed out again by another high-flying parachutist imposed London.

So I am taking the unusual step of appealing directly to my many loyal (and not so loyal) Labour readers to do whatever they can to help Steve get selected.

This is no slight on Patrick Moloney, who is the Lib Dem candidate for Walton. I have yet to met him, but I am told he is also a very nice chap and would make a great MP. And it would be great to know that whichever of them won, Walton will end up with a good MP who will fight for local people.

I met Steve during his period as Lord Mayor, and will never forget how he took time to shake my paw and scratch behind my ear.

I can't say a single bad word about him, he is such a genuinely nice bloke, who has shown himself to be a good ambassador for our city.

With Steve Rotheram & Colin Eldridge working together, we would have at least two MPs who will put the interest of Liverpool above tribal party politics and fight for our city.

That's got to be better than the collection of malcontents and greasy-pole climbers, who have put their own promotions or egos first, that we have had to endure in recent parliaments.

Have a great weekend!

Lots of love & licks,
Dude

Lucianalambanana

2010-02-25T08:00:00.003Z

In an effort to try and gain a place in Scousers hearts, young Luciana hijacked a much loved Liverpool icon to get her message across.

-----------------update------------------

I had to update this page to make sure you all saw this very funny description of the picture by Ethical Bill.

"A sort of Lady Godiva in reverse, riding through the town fully clothed to support a Government that leaves the poor to be harshly taxed while allowing billionaires to get away with paying less tax than their cleaners!"

Nice one Bill, wish I'd thought of it!

Kilfoyle quits

2010-02-24T08:32:00.000Z

So, hot off the press is news that highly respected Walton MP Peter Kilfoyle is standing down.

Is this Dude's second expenses scalp? Or have Joe, Louise Ellman and Luciana finally managed to push him out.

His free thinking and his statesman like stand against New Labour Carpet Baggers won him many enemies on his own side, but can he really be expected to go quietly?

And who will succeed him? As Dude predicted, this was always a better seat for Steve Rotherham to throw his hat in for. But will he get his chance?

Will it be another all women shortlist? Does Luciana have a sister? Perhaps Steve needs to raise funds for a trip to Amsterdam. A quick operation could have him seriously in the running again!

Alternatively, it is so close to the election now that the NEC will impose a candidate. Nice majority, little work involved, so a great opportunity for another carpet bagger.

How about Mrs Blair, or perhaps this is where Peter Mandelson plans to make his much talked about come back, in preparation for a leadership bid after the election.

Luciana's pledges

2010-02-23T07:39:00.001Z

Arrogant Luciana may have ruffled a few feathers with her second leaflet.

She announces (several times) what she plans to do "WHEN I am elected as your member of parliament."

Voters may be surprised to learn that their imperious leader has decided that democracy will be suspended in Wavertree, as they can't be trusted to vote for the cockney lady in the red rosette.

So choice will apparently be taken away from them and Luciana will be your MP, even if none of you vote for her!

OK, admittedly that sounds just like the Labour selection (can you find any Labour member who will admit voting for her?)

Like all of my species, I study human nature very closely. And over the years I have picked up that people (in Liverpool at least) don't like that sort of arrogance, any more than they like carpet baggers.

What next I hear you ask? "When I am elected, I will have a very big house on my expenses... your just jealous!"

And as someone pointed out in the Echo letters page, she keeps on getting her leaflets printed in Cambridge (with her mates down south?) can someone please have a quiet word and explain that we do have printers oop north. Where does she think we print Whippet's Weekly and the "Which Cloth Cap" guide?

green Eagle

2010-02-22T08:50:00.003Z

Many thanks to the Eagle Eyed reader who sent this lookalike in.

Sam the Eagle is well known for thinking himself more "highbrow" and intellectual than the other characters on the show and has a great sense of superiority.

Any such similarity with a certain green councillor is purely co-incidental.

And so our long season of lookalikes could be coming to an end, unless you have other ideas?

Have you spotted a lookalike we haven't done yet? If so, send it in to me or to Sally quick as you can.

Luciana's local pad

2010-02-18T08:12:00.000Z

You will recall Luciana claimed in her first press release to have been living in Liverpool since last year, even though Jane Kennedy said "the kid had nowhere to stay" during the selection process in January.

Since then the hunt has been on to track down her home in the city that backs up this outlandish claim.

So full marks to Picton terrier Timbo, who may have sniffed out her rather compact, but cheap, accommodation address recently. And it has the added advantage of being able to be loaded onto a van for transport back to London on May 7th.

Final Demand

2010-02-17T08:00:00.001Z

And now for the latest round of the expenses saga (actually have any of our "Past their sell by date" MPs claimed for a Saga Holiday?).

Peter Kilfoyle was forced to repay £324.16 for Mortgage interest overpayments. Small beer perhaps, but maybe he should have employed his daughter to independantly research how much he was actually paying in interest before he put the claim in?

Meanwhile Jane Kennedy received a demand to repay £2,569.83 for Mortgage interest/council tax/utility bill overpayments and Mobile phone bills. But never mind dear, you got away with the £400 a month in food, and £20,000 "redundancy payment" for resigning twice. And of course you will be getting another £60,000 to soften the blow in May. Don't spend it all at once.

Of course, the taxpayer can expect much bigger windfalls from Labour MPs, such as the £20,000 that the boyfriend of lovely Luciana was forced to repay, after he was caught renting a flat from his sister.

But the prize for getting away with it has to go to Jane Kennedy's "close friend" Geoff Hoon who got away with building up a £1.7 million property empire by flipping his allowances.

Now that would pay for a few holidays in retirement!

Lots of love, Sally!