The environment's stuffed

Thanks to my blogging nemesis for alerted me to the news that Wavertree MP Jane Kennedy has been sacked..., sorry..., promoted from her job as Financial Secretary to the Treasury to the environmental number 2!

Jane, who's interests are listed as horses and hounds, has said Tally Ho to the world of finance and managing our economy, just as all but the most thoroughbred banks are being carted off to the knackers yard.

Horsey Jane oversaw such triumphs as the loss of benefits data of every child in Britain, thus improving the economic prospects for our nation's ever growing data fraud industry.

Plus, axing 400 local jobs, possibly including The Bulldog if she hadn't jumped first.

And not to mention her involvement in Labour's successful policy of redistributing wealth from all those under productive humans earning less than £18,000 (and therefore giving them an incentive to work harder to try and join the elite group of humans that are too rich to pay tax.)

With a record like that, no wonder she is being promoted away from "the poisonous chalice of HMRC" (as The Bulldog described it)

So with that no longer under her reins, she is trotting off to become Minister of State for Farming and the Environment, her responsibilities listed as:

• Animal health, welfare and disease
• Exotic animal disease policy programme and emergency response capability
• Bovine TB
• The food chain
• Waste and recycling
• Our Water Supply
• Coastal erosion & Flooding

With our Jane in charge, we can be sure she will be able to transfer her record of success to all of these fields, leaving our environment in almost as good health as the financial markets.

My advice is get your TB and rabies jabs, build up your food stores before rationing is brought back, and get on with building that ark in your back garden.

Catch ya next time... unless the floods catch you first!
Lots of doggie love,
Dude

Free Swims For All

I was very pleased to read that the Lib Dems in Liverpool are giving free sports and swims to the elderly.

It's widely known that the Lib Dems gave free leisure passes to all local kids in 2006, and it's resulted a massive increase in the number of kids swimming, playing tennis, squash, badminton, and using the gym. So I hope my older readers will be as quick to take up the offer.

What has not been publicised is that the Council has been offering free swims to the canine community for years.

Just pop down to your local park, and dive in! You will often spot me out doing the doggie paddle, and if you are really lucky, I will give you a free shower when I climb out.

Still, I'm glad to see my human friends are at last catching up with some of the free facilities available to us dogs.

Free swims for everyone - that's my manifesto. First one in the lake gets one of Mr Moffat's wonderful sausages... Just you try and catch me!

Lots of doggie love,
Dude
XXX

Public apology

I feel it is only fair that I issue a public apology to my blogging nemesis The Bulldog for last week's article.

Obviously it was very wrong of me to suggest that she might have a sense of humour or not take herself too seriously. I unreservedly retract such statements.

She claims the article caused confusion and upset for Labour party members, who genuinely believed that she dressed up for a Safe Sex Day. I will leave you to decide what this says about the intelligence of Labour Party members!

However, to suggest that such an important and respected campaign such as the Linda McCartney Breast Cancer Campaign could be damaged, cheapened or belittled just from a bit of gentle teasing - caused by her misusing the photo for her own publicity - shows she is out of touch with reality.

To put it in simple terms that even a Labour member could understand...

Taking part in the Linda McCartney Campaign: GOOD
Using the photo as part of promoting the event: GOOD
Using the photo out of context to promote her blog and herself politically: BAD, and worthy of satire.

If the bulldog cares to use her influence to keep the genuinely libellous Labour run Subculture blog under control, then perhaps she can claim some moral high ground.

Until then, you're only making it worse for yourself luv!

Lots of love and licks,
Dude