Round 1: Dave v Marc

While it has long been rumoured they don't get on, this week saw the first public salvo between the Post & Echo's Dave Bartlett and Marc Waddington.

Ever the conscientious professional, Dave deleted unpleasant comments from his blog attacking a Lib Dem Councillor's girlfriend. When the Labour poster complained, Dave made the following remark.

I took the view that part of your post was too personal (nothing to do with complaints or otherwise of other people). For the sake of clarifying the rules of engagement vis-a-vis commenting on DSB. You can say whatever you like, so long as it is not libelous, distasteful, or too personal, and while you might call it teasing to bring into the debate the girlfriend of a political foe, that is stepping over the personal line for me.

Nothing to disagree with there, I hear you say. Yet this is widely being interpreted as a swipe at Marc for his recent article splashing Colin Eldridge's girlfriend across the front page.

Well from the public condemnation I've been hearing on the streets, I'd say that Davey B is the people's champ on this one.

Ding Ding!

Two faced gravy-train Jane

As previously reported here (the Daily Post have only just caught up) Gravy-train Jane Kennedy is soon to be hit by the ban on MPs employing their partners.

You would think that after recent events she would keep quiet and accept the ruling, but instead she is planning to lead the rebellion on behalf of Labour MPs who want to continue to employ their wives, husbands, boyfriends, and children at our expense and without any independent checking of their suitability or qualifications.

It has to be asked if she received advice from Joe Anderson before em-barking on this strategy, knowing that he is such a courageous campaigner on such issues, bravely willing to bully innocent young women in order to get at his opponents.

And then there is the Daily Post, printing the heart wrenching story of MPs partners in tears at the thought of losing their jobs. Really touching in this supposed age of hard nosed media.

The question you have to ask yourself is who is more two faced? Jane Kennedy or the Daily Post?

Who's seat is it anyway?

A master of improvisation, this next character was left dumbstruck after accidently becoming an MP in 1997. His employers failed to see the funny side, having been promised he had no chance of winning.

The folk of Enfield quickly corrected their mistake, and this cockney lad packed up his carpet bag thinking that the people of West Derby might like a less independent minded Labour MP, who would do as he was told.

Talent deficit

If ever there was proof that there is a major talent deficit in the Labour party, it's the sight of backbenchers turning to Gravy-train Jane Kennedy as a possible saviour to topple Gordon Brown.

Unfortunatly for Jane, as the Daily Post points out: "Ms Kennedy admitted she was wrestling with fears that the role would drag her away from her constituency – a key Liberal Democrat election target – in the run-up to next year's election."

"My concern would be that I have a very tough contest in my constituency and I need to devote the maximum amount of time to that contest," said Jane.

A tough fight indeed, and she will need all the help she can get from the national Labour Party to help her hold on. Gord help her them!

Bulldog turns chicken

My spies tell me that Lou-Bo chickened out of a major public meeting in Kensington that was discussing the future of her ward last night.

Spoiling for a fight, Lou-Bo, Twice Monthly Nick, Blackpool Liam and Wendy the Weimaraner had actually demanded that a neighbourhood committee meeting be cancelled so that they could turn up to Kensington Regeneration's last ever annual public meeting.

The meeting was discussing plans to replace Kensington Regeneration when it winds up in 6 months time with a Community Interest Company, to be run by the local community with all residents as members.

Even though this is Labour party policy, and the model used by almost every other "New Deal for Communities" area in the country, Labour councillors objected. Instead demanding to control the money themselves so that they could claim credit for how it was spent.

Angry residents got wind of their plans and turned up "mob handed" ready to take on their Labour Councillors, and the police were on hand in case things turned ugly. Residents won support from the Bishop of Liverpool and even invited Lib Dem champ Colin Eldridge along to stand up for them.

Alas the battle was not to be.

Realising that despite two weeks of spreading lies and half truths in the community local residents were still against them, the Labour Warriors turned tail and fled.

It just shows what communities can do when they stand together against Labour.

As a result Louise, Wendy, Nick, Christine & Sharon, and particularly Liam Sir Robbinson, the following song is dedicated to you.

Your fired, darling

Wavertree MP (Gravy-train) Jane Kennedy looks set to be forced to sack her boyfriend under new rules to be approved by Gordon Brown.

Jane has refused to answer questions about how he was appointed, or even how much he is being paid from her expenses for his work as a researcher.

Questions such as who interviewed him (considering Jane's obvious conflict of interest), what were is qualifications for the job, and who assesses his performance have gone unanswered, leading to suggestions that his appointment was either blatant nepotism and a misuse of £1000's of taxpayers money, or a million to one co-incidence.

This is all the more hypocritical considering the public naming and bullying by Pitbull Joe against so called "Libdem Laura" - Assisted by his drinking buddy Marc the Weimardoodle - who's only crime appears to be being in a relationship with a Lib Dem Councillor.

But then we all know that's just a smokescreen to take the pressure off Gravy-train Jane don't we?

Luckily for her constituents, more and more wheels seem to be coming off Jane's gravy train. So Jane as a public service this link is provided for your reference next June.

Little Lord Makinson

This week's lookalike was suggested repeatedly by Joe Anderson, when ranting across the council chamber.

A particular hate figure for most on the opposition benches, several Labour councillors have expressed a grudging respect for his talents as a campaigner, and his continued electoral survival over the past decade in seats that Labour were convinced they would win, despite barely looking old enough to vote.

Reported to the standards board by Joe Anderson more times than I've had hot dinners, you can clearly judge a man by the enemies he keeps.

Labour come 5th

Yet more humiliation for Labour after they came 5th today in a key mayoral by-election.

Liberal Democrats stormed to victory in Bedford, with the Tories second, two independent candidates in 3rd and 4th place, with Labour trailing behind alongside the green party.

Particularly humiliating when you consider Bedford has a Labour MP.

Congratulations to everyone involved including a contingent from Liverpool. Doggy treats all round.

Spelling mistakes

Embarrassed wannabe MP Stephen Twigg and Croxteth's Rosie the rottweiler were forced to issue an apology after repeatedly mis-spelling Croxteth on their leaflets.

The red faced former schools minister described it as a "printing error" on the leaflet entitled "Croxteh Labour Rose" and referring to "Croxeth" within the text.

School teacher Heidi Minnaar told the Echo: “I for one will not be voting for anyone who cannot even spell the name of the ward I live in."

“It is indeed a very poor showing when those who wish to be our voice in politics cannot spell the name of the ward they claim to or wish to represent.”

I'm sure readers will now start picking up on numerous spelling mistakes on this blog, but it really is a bit pathetic if Labour can't spot such a glaring error in the title of your publication.

Fly me to Cape Town

In a blatant bid for a free holiday, Joe the Pitbull today launched a campaign to twin Liverpool with Ladysmith in South Africa, to coincide with the 2010 world cup.

The cynic in me suspects that Joe just want's to go to see the football, without coughing up for the plane fare.

Chris for President

North West Euro-MP Chris Davies today launched an audacious bid to become president of Europe.

Announcing his "Stop Blair" candidature in a letter to European heads of state, Chris expressed a hope that his never having decieved parliament or caused the death of thousands of people, will not prejudice his application.

He finished by informing heads of state that his first executive role was chair of Liverpool's housing committee in the 1980's against opposition from Hatton's Militant Labour party. So chairing meetings of European heads of government should be a doddle after that!!!

As Chris points out, anyone can apply as there is no offical criteria. Even a blogging dog could be eligable.

How about it, should I put my name forward? Dude for President!

The Muppet Show

You could well argue that there are plenty of muppets in the Labour Party anyway, so finding a lookalike is no great deal. Yet the resemblance between this former Lord Mayor and this well known grumpy agitator is striking indeed.

One of the Labour old guard, he managed to survive despite being deselected by a taskforce sent in by the Labour NEC to clean up the local party a decade ago.

Jane's Gravy Train Tales

Someone has passed under my nose a recording of Roger Phillips interviewing Jane Kennedy about her expenses. I have picked out Gravy Train Jane's comments for your amusement.

Jane Kennedy: "I'm being accused of eating and being made redundant and receiving a severance payment."

Err, no luv. You are being accused of milking a system which you helped create over the past 17 years, claiming £13,000 on food and being paid £20,000 for quitting a job - a perk available only to bankers and ministers.

Jane Kennedy: "The total cost of the expenses that I am to the taxpayer of wavertree is about £140,000 a year includes 4 excellent people in the constituency office that has access off the high-street."

Oh dear oh dear, someone has had too many pork pies on their food expenses! You conveniently left your salary out of this figure, which last year was £104,000. So you cost the taxpayer £1/4 million.

Jane Kennedy: "We worked it out at about £2 per voter per year, thats about half the cost of a pack of pick and mix sweets."

You must buy your pick and mix in Harrods - on your food expenses no doubt. And it's £3.38 - you would expect the former Chief Financial Secretary to the Treasury to be able to add up.

Jane Kennedy: "well I didn't come into this job to make a lot of money, if I'd stayed as a council officer when I worked for Liverpool, i'm confident I would now be in a senior position earning considerably more that the £64,000 a year i make as an MP. If I'd stayed as a union official, I would probably be earning more than I am now.

Well she certainly believes in herself even if no one else does.

Jane Kennedy: "And in my time as an MP, two things personally that I have done for the constituency I am particularly proud of.

1. When I resigned as a health minister I was doing so because the government at the time was trying to bring in a formula that would have cut the funding to Alder Hey by £10million.

The second thing I am proud of is I was approached by the Liberal Democrat Council as was Louise Ellman to see if we could use our good offices to secure the £15million for Edge Lane. That is real politics. When the electors come to decide on value for money at the end of the day, I would like them to consider some of the points I am making to you this afternoon."

What a lot to show for 17 years work, I take it all back, clearly you are great value for money.

Jane Kennedy: "What the Liberal Democrats have no experience of is how hard you have to work as a government minister. There isn't a minister in government who doesn't work really hard, and they are working at the moment in extremely difficult economic circumstances."

Which you helped to create as Treasury Minister!

Jane Kennedy: "But you know you do the job because you love it, the pay is just the icing on the cake.

When you were a child did you sneak downstairs in the night and steal all the icing off the Christmas cake?

Jane Kennedy: "But in terms of the packages I have to pay back i'm not even going to get into it."

I bet you're not! You will probably need that money after next May.

More good reasons to joint the campaign to help derail Jane's Gravy Train.

Doggy chips

I don't tend to take much notice of the goings on at the other end of the Mersey, yet this story on Withington MP John Leech's website did catch my attention.

John has been doing a very worthwhile job with the Dogs Trust in promoting the chipping of dogs, to make sure that my colleagues can always be returned to their owners if they should get lost.

But what really made me sit up and notice was his new glamorous assistant, Jessica, who was recently returned home safely thanks the tagging scheme.

Isn't she cute? I wonder if John could introduce me to her?

Councillor Who?

Two Scouse lads made good, one well know for saving the galaxy a number of times from the menace of the Cybermen, the other helping to save Liverpool from a far greater menace...the Labourmen.

A week of crime

Gordon Brown boasted that 12 years of Labour had slashed crime by a third, only to be knocked a fatal blow a few hours later by a senior Labour Councillor.

Joe Hanson (AKA Sergeant Bilko) told street cleaners that his Kirkdale ward has now become so dangerous with knife wielding yobs that they should only work his neighbourhood in the mornings when the gangs are still in bed!

Too often people in inner city areas have long since given up on reporting crime, but why should Gordon care - it makes the figures look better.

I wonder how other Liverpool Labour members feel this week about their party's claim to have cut crime?

One candidate apparently complained to his (Lib Dem) councillor that his bike was stolen while campaigning for the Labour party at the weekend, while there is speculation that my blogging nemesis might also have been a unfortunate victim of crime, after she was spotted in a bruised and disheveled state yesterday.

Not a great week for Labour on crime then. Or anything else!

Playing politics with Hillsborough

Has Labour sunk to a new low?

Anyone typing "Labour" into Google yesterday would have been confronted with an advert attacking The Sun chipwrappingpaper and comparing the paper's recent treatment of the Labour party with it's shameful coverage of the Hillsborough disaster - complete with link to the Labour website.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/labour/6247256/Pro-Labour-Google-adverts-attack-Sun-over-Hillsborough-disaster.html

Quickly realizing how spectacularly this was about to backfire, particularly in Liverpool, our very own pitbull Joe Anderson was quickly wheeled out to deny that this was an official Labour party advert.

Regardless of whether it was official or not, someone in the Labour party thought that it was a good idea. Whoever it was who did this, they need to be quickly hunted down, exposed and everyone involved kicked out of the party - if not then the whole party should be rightly condemned.