Putting them in their place

Eight jobs Alan

Hot on the heals of Merseytravel's fat-cat controller, we have his deputy: Liverpool Labour Councillor Alan Dean.

Liverpool basic salary: £9,879

Labour chief whip salary: £4,585

Merseytravel basic: £5,688

Merseytravel Deputy chair:£12,896

Committee Chair: £4,666

deputy committee chair: £3,883

panel chair: £5,737

Making a grand total of: £47,334

...and he still finds time to work as a "self employed consultant" training other councillors across the country - presumably in how to milk the system.

cooking the register

Political relatives can be a source of both pride and embarrassment, as these two posh lookalikes can testify. In both cases the dubious claim to fame is that they brought the country to it's knees.

While the lights went out on the economy after Lawson's disastrous handling of the economy, Manny Shinwell saw the lights litterally go out, after the then energy minister failed to ensure proper coal reserves during a bitter winter.

Criminal connections

While claiming Labour is tough on crime, Luciana keeps quiet about her family's underworld connections - Ernest Shinwell was an "associate" of the notorious Kray Twins.

Of course while Nigella sticks to cook books, Luciana likes to feature in electoral registers instead, London...Birmingham... even temporarily in Liverpool.

The Berger Hill Show

Luciana Berger is now turning into a national joke.

An hilarious article in today's Independent reveals how her campaign has descended into chaos.

A Sunday newspaper was described as having to chase her "Benny Hill style" round a supermarket in an attempt to get an interview, after fleeing her constituency office.

She even ran away from the Independent's journalist, and when she finally agreed to answer emailed questions, she could only answer 3 out of 17.

Symbolic campaign

"Senior figures within the local party, speaking on condition of anonymity, have described the running of the campaign as "shambolic". There have been reports of up to 30 workers turning up to canvass but being left to sit around with nothing to do. Others are said to have objected to the quality of the material they have been asked to deliver."

Is Baldock being sacrificed?

" Local councillors asked to argue her case fear they are in danger of being sacrificed to save her."

Well, there is only one local Labour councillor up for election. My blogging nemesis Louise Baldock. Sound like the former regional press officer could well be the "inside source".

One traditional Labour voice described the campaign as an example of the "worst excesses of New Labour". Opponents say that concerns over the quality of the candidate are now being realised. "They are afraid that if she is allowed a bit of freedom she will not only make a faux pas but run the risk of boring everyone to death," the source said.

Luciana, it's time for you to get your coat!

Fat-Cat Controller

The highest paid councillor in the country?

Well certainly a contender. It's Merseytravel's fat controller, Labour Councillor Mark Dowd, who I am told rakes in a cool £60k thanks to a cosy deal with the Tories who keep him in power,

Sefton Council salary: £8850

Merseytravel basic: £5,688

Various "special responsibility

allowances": £37,242.16

expenses: £7856.05

total: £59636.96

and that was for 2008/09, no doubt it's gone up since them. Thanks to the whistle blower who passed me the figures.

Aren't other Labour councillors ashamed of such greed?

Not singing but queuing

Yesterday an amazing sight was witnessed at Liverpool's Municipal Buildings, as countless young people queued up to register to vote before the deadline. It was, I am told, a scene you would expect to see in a new democracy in the third world as people wait in line to claim their democratic rights.

Meanwhile a "Rage Against The Machine" campaign to get the Lib Dems to number 1 has attracted over 120,000 members and increasing by over 10,000 every day.

And as Cleggmania takes over the nation, it is noticeable how quiet Labour's more arrogant and bombastic commentates have become.

From Dale Street Blues to Vote 2007 and ukpollingreport, Labour councillors, bloggers and commentators, who have so often delighted in dismissing the Lib Dems, appear to be feeling far less cocky.

So guys and Louise, this one is for you.

Cat gets man in hot water

In a relentless and hopeless effort by Joe Anderson and his barfly Waddington to smear Wavertree's MP in waiting, dirt has (literally) been dug up on the Lib Dem candidate's cat.

After his cat was suspected to have defecated in a Labour supporter's sandpit, Eldridge was facing Labour calls to apologise and immediately have the cat put down.

The repulsive act is being reported as part of an offensive anti-zionist/homophobic/racist/anti-Christian/fascist/crypt-communist (pick at least one of the above) slur, potentially leading to international condemnation and questions in the European Parliament.

In a damming report in tomorrow's Daily Post, Eldridge is briefly allowed to point out that he doesn't actually own a cat, before Joe Anderson is quoted demanding his resignation anyway.

"The fact the cat had previously been seen sitting on Eldridges's wall proves he is associated with it. Nothing less than his resignation and the cat's immediate destruction will be acceptable," said Labour's Councillor Joe Anderson.

Louise Baldock seized on the news, immediate blogging that this fascist feline outrage was proof that even Eldridge's mother-in-law can't still be planning to vote for him after this.

The report will be repeated in the Daily Mirror the following day, minus Eldridge's statement.

The bash street kids

Another lookalike for you all.

The "Little Boys at the Garmoyle"

The Bash Street Kids

I agree with Nick!

After watching last night's debate I was impressed to see Gordon Brown saying something I can completely support.

Coming soon...

If London Luciana thought she was having a hard time, things are about to get far worse.

My sources tell me that, following a tip off from a disgruntled Labour insider, Camden Berger is about to be hit by a major bombshell that will blow a hole in her campaign.

I've been sworn to secrecy, but watch the national papers for a major revelation.

Until now, its been like being slapped with a small fish. But there is always something in reserve...

...because I'm worth it

Six "girls who can't be expected to know about football" but happy to talk about hair, makeup and anything else girlie girlie, so long as it's not policies.

I can find no better words than the poster on Dale Street Blues, who said:

"Labour might just as well install an electric rotisserie in Emily Davison's grave because, if she can see this, it will be like a spinning top in there!"

If there was ever a poster advert against all women short lists, this is it.

In defense of Dude

I feel I must jump to the defense of my good friend Dude who has been unfairly slandered by soon to be ex councillor Baldock.

Dude has been accused of being a misogynist, as a liberated female dog (I object to the official term) this is not something I would stand for in any friend of mine.

So I spent some time looking back through Dude's posts to see if there was any truth to this accusation.

But first, Cllr Baldock's ridiculous accusation:

April 6, 2010 9:58 AM

Louise Baldock said:

I am not accusing Colin's campaign team of being misogynist, unless he is now acknowledging ownership of the Dude the Dog website. I was stating that the author of Dude the Dog blog is a misogynist. Who have the targets been? Me, Jane and Luciana mainly. Count how many comments are concerned with how we look, how we dress, unflattering photos of us. It is not about our views on housing regeneration or job creation etc, it is about our age, appearance, the state of play of our relationships etc. Dude the dog is a woman-hating blog.
This was my point.
Some of the responses above are red herrings. This is not about whether I am a feminist, or whether it was right for someone to write about the partner of a LibDem councillor getting a job in the LibDem group office without the job being advertised. I am talking about the hatred that Dude the Dog shows to women. That was why I used the word Dude/s in my post above. To distinguish the author(s) from the more decent majority of LibDems (men and women) who would never countenance such bile surely.

I can't find a single derogatory personal comment by Dude about Louise, Jane Kennedy or Luciana, and where unflattering photos have been used, they are actually photos that these three have put on their own websites. If they are that derogatory, why did you use them?

Has Dude taken the micky out of them? Well yes, it's a satirical blog. But if anything the only humans who have been the victims of derogatory comments about how they look have been men, particularly Joe Anderson and Sion Simon.

Have these three been particular targets? Well they have made themselves so.

Louise, if you write a vile blog abusing your opponents and calling them bast*rds, you are painting a large target on yourself.

Jane Kennedy's record as an MP was certainly nothing to be proud of, and Dude did a brilliant job exposing her expenses.

And Luciana Bating has become a popular sport in Liverpool amongst Journalists, politicians and the general public. She has been the greatest gift to any satirical dog.

All three are legitimate targets, and I can find no example of Dude overstepping the mark with them.

I know Dude is a big (small) dog and can look after himself. But he is a canine gentleman who is alway respectful towards females and I know that he finds such accusations hurtful.

I know many in the local Labour ranks are major fans of Dude, including at least one soon to be MP who has confessed to several Lib Dems how much he enjoys this blog.

After such a long fight to establish women in politics and demanding a right to be treated equally, it is demeaning to claim sexism ever time you are given a rough time.

Louise, you have lost the respect I had for you as a woman in politics.

Fading away

Not gone, but already forgotten, Wavertree MP Jane Kennedy is already fading away from what limited public profile she had in her constituency.

Camden Berger

Across Wavertree, stickers are appearing on doors from residents sick of Berger and takeaway flyers, as reported in the Daily Post's Brocklebank column, which described Luciana as a "tasty dish" but pointed out that she doesn't "come complete with French Fries and mayo".

So I was surprised when the following Berger advert landed in my mailbox this morning.

Something to chew over, but personally I would prefer a lamb shankley myself.

Bon appetit.

Fire up the status-quo

As Gene Cameron (not David Hunt - wasn't he MP for Wirral West?) fires up the Quatro to take us back to the 80's, the Labservative Party launched their new local poster, as London Luciana poses with her party's joint leader just hours before her other leader calls the election.

Watch out for it coming to a bill board near you!

Labour campaign poster

As Labour increasingly panic about Camden Berger, Gordon Brown has launched a new poster to help bolster her shambolic campaign.

Yet Brown was left confused when he realised that the posh public schoolgirl was actually the Labour candidate rather than a Tory challenger.

Jolly hockey sticks

All this talk of Gordon Brown reverting back to a class warfare election campaign is making for uncomfortable reading for London Luciana.

After all, while Gordon is telling everyone that Cameron is a toff from Eaton, she'll be worrying that people will start to look closer at her education.

At £11,000 a year, the posh Haberdashers' Aske's school is a bit beyond the reach of families in Old Swan, as is the commute down to London. Not that you would imagine it to be home to traditional Labour voters.

So I wasn't surprised by the result of Haberdashers' mock elections last week, which saw a landslide Conservative victory.

Second and third places went to the Lib Dem's and UKIP, but the school couldn't even be bothered to report if Labour managed to cling on to 4th place against the greens.