hanging his head?

I don't know what happened to Dude last week, perhaps he was hanging his head in shame after getting wind of Labour's plan to axe free leisure passes for the young and old.

As usual, the toadying Echo portray it as a coalition cut, even though most of the money comes from the Council, and Labour planned to cut off the government support next year anyway, with councils being left to take up the cost themselves.

Dude won't like me reminding you of the fanfare with which he greeted it's introduction by the Lib Dems of of free swimming and sports passes here, claiming that he believed in free swims for all.

So Dude, are you going to come out and condemn your new Labour masters, or are you just a hypocrite?

Pay him more!

I can't believe all the fuss about Joe Anderson doubling his salary to a mere £52,000!

The man has selflessly given up his job to be leader of our great city, you can't expect him to survive on a poxy £31,000 a year? I wouldn't get out of my basket for that, and I am sure no-one else in the city wouldn't either.

The peasants expect to be led by someone bigger and better paid than themselves, and £52k certainly puts him head and shoulders above 95% of the local population, yet still leaves him trailing the (station) master of allowances - Merseytravel's Labour councillor Mark Dowd, who has collected a whopping £60k through clever use of multiple allowances and expenses.

Still, at least it puts him back ahead of Alan Dean, who enraged many in the leadership when they discovered he was raking in almost £50k a year, plus fees as a consultant advising councillors across the country in his spare time.

I just don't know how our great benefactor can afford to give us his services so cheaply. Although he did admit that he will still be made better off by giving up his job than if he gave up being leader.

Even so, think of all the additional expenses he has, such as buying drinks for that nice journalist Mr Waddington, surely he can claim back the cost through an "entertainment allowance?" I for one feel guilty for paying him a rate that so undervalues his talents. So today I start my campaign. Go on Joe, have the courage to double it again!

Mac's knives are out

Mac the Knife may have struck his first blow, as Peter Cosgrove, the Council Officer in charge of investigating the Liverpool Direct contract suddenly found himself suspended, just days after LDL Chief Executive David McElhinney took the Council reins of power following Comrade Joe's purge.

Well known for bearing grudges and with a reputation for bullying anyone that opposes him, he was originally employed as former Chief Executive David Henshaw's rottweiler. He is certainly someone you cross at your peril.

Union officials have been left perplexed, as Mr Cosgrove was sent home over alleged "discrepancies in Council Tax collection", a department he hadn't run for over 4 years.. and no one had actually told him what he is in fact accused of.

The simple fact may be that Cosgrove is just another face that doesn't fit under the new regime.

Maiden speech

Someone kindly pointed out that we missed out reporting on this story this month, obviously we can't trust Dude to report such things anymore!!!

In a long rambling speech which demonstrated that lightweight Lucy Berger wasn't even qualified to read out loud, she bored the house about St Hilda's school in Picton and Archbishop Blanch School in Wavertree,

The simple fact that neither school is actually in her constituency is bad enough, but that she managed to place both schools miles outside their true location is a demonstration of world class incompetence, showing that Luciana is preparing to join the illustrious ranks of Dan Quayle, George Bush and John Prescott.

This didn't stop toadying Echo journalist Dave Bartlett from claiming that the speech was "well researched"!

Fortunately she didn't get to finish, as her rambling overran the alloted time, something she herself described on twitter as "sad"! But sadder for the people of Wavertree to be represented by such a bimbo.

Can't get out of bed

I am told that ever since the Cabinet System was imposed on Council's by Labour, meetings have been held at 9am, with a informal 8am meeting beforehand.

Rumour has it that that lazy Joe has, as of today, moved the meeting to 10am.

Obviously, now that he has given up work to sit full time in the Municipal Buildings eating Sayers pasties, there is little reason for him not to have a lie in, when he is not jetting off to Egypt and other exotic destinations at our expense.

A little domestic difficulty

Domestic life could be a bit awkward for my friend Roz Gladden over the next few weeks.

The new Labour council is rightly slashing 9 out of 12 day centres (I don't know why the Lib Dems though the taxpayer should subsidise the elderly sitting around all day?)

Slasher Roz is leading the cause, as Executive Member for Social Care, while her union leader hubby Roy (a former militant councillor) leads the fight against.

Unions have pledged to use "ever method available" to stop the closures. I wonder if this refers to strikes or the withholding of nookie and DIY activities?

Subject for a freedom of information request perhaps.

technical difficulties

Sorry I havn't been posting recently, I havn't forgotten about you all, honest!

A few technical difficulties turned into a nightmare after I brought in a neighbouring computer "expert" (trading as Mr Technocat - let the cat fix your mouse) to upgrade my increasingly slow PC.

I got a photo of him at work, one of the rare occasions when he actually turned up as promised and didn't disappear when my back was turned.

This is what happens when you do something on the cheap. I understand he was also working on a (now cancelled) government IT contract, which was running 6 years late and £18billion over budget, so I suppose I am lucky to be back on line at all!

More fallout

More fallout from my shock defection and appointment as canine champion today.

My nemesis The Bulldog growled at me today and told me that she would be waiting in the wings for a chance to get me.

Just jealously I'm sure, since I know she always wanted my job. But I know I am safe as long as I have Big Joe's protection.

It just goes to show that because you become someone's colleague, it doesn't make them your friend.

Another comedian

With all the jokers already in the Labour party, you wouldn't think there would be room for another one.

But you'd be wrong.

Step forth the erudite Mr Francis, newly elected councillor for Anfield.

What he doesn't know about housing and regeneration would fill one of the many liverpool libraries that Labour will be closing in the next few months.

So instead they have put him on the education committee, in the hope that he will learn something. Still at least he has never been charged by the police with wife beating, so he's one up on his colleague in the neighbouring ward.

Falling out

Dear readers,

I have spent the week in a quandary, do I carry on contributing to this blog?

I am still reeling with shock at news of Dude's decision to join the dark side. I thought Dude was my friend, but he didn't even have the decency to discuss his decision with me first.

For the record, I will not be joining him, not now, not ever. In fact I really now need to consider if I am still willing to remain friends with him. I feel sick just at the thought that I have allowed Dude to sniff my bottom from time to time. Although I have resisted any further advances from him.

So do I carry on? Well yes I have decided I must, more now than ever. I owe it to all of you dear readers to make sure you get to hear both sides of the story.

But Dude, you'd better stay out of my way for a while, grrrrrrrr!

next to go...

Hot on the heals of Colin Hilton, I can exclusively reveal that Education boss Stuart Smith will be the next to jump ship before he is pushed.

My new friends in the Labour group tell me that the former Toxteth English Teacher is widely seen as a face that "doesn't fit" despite an admittedly impressive record (alongside Colin Hilton) of raising education standards and exam results in Liverpool.

Other top names they are also questioning include Assistant Chief Executive Ben Dolan and Regeneration chief John Kelly.

I must admit though, after the £1/2 million bill for axing Hilton I am a bit concerned that we will be landed with another big bill for clearing the lower ranks.

I just hope Joe doesn't have to resort to selling a few parks off to that nice Mr Flanagan to pay for it all. Yes I know I am now loyal to Labour, but I still like to enjoy my walkies.

I told you so

So, as I exclusively revealed, David - The Rottweiler - McElhinney has been cleverly shoehorned in by our glorious leader and will act as our new Chief Executive - and what a masterstroke!

At a meeting yesterday to force out Colin - The Pidgeon - Hilton, Joe had to repeatedly attack bad boy Bradley for asking awkward questions. In the end Joe even had to threaten to have the Lib Dem thrown out of the meeting.

First the meeting agreed to the enforced "retirement" of Colin Hilton at a cost of erm, just under £1/2 Million! But boy it must be worth every penny, I think.

But at least Joe had a cunning plan to spot any embarrassing details leaking out. The reports where tabled at the meeting, and had to be handed back at the end.

Yet Joe's final coup-de-grace was yet to come!

An unexpected report was suddenly placed on the table shortlisting 4 potential candidates for Hilton's replacement, before announcing that two of the candidates didn't actually want the job anyway.

So Joe decided to go ahead and interview both candidates, Dr McElhinney and Cath Green, there and then.

A done deal? You might very well think that, however I couldn't possibly comment. However I can confirm that Dr McElhinney got the job and it will be confirmed later today... but then as regular readers of my blog you knew that days ago didn't you?

The Rottweiler's back

I couldn't wait until tomorrow to feed you this titbit I received from my new leader today.

Just days after forcing out Colin (The Pigeon) Hilton it seems that another old face is being brought back to replace him.

Dr David McElhinney (known as the Rottweiler) will be installed as Chief Executive - the role he always dreamed of.

How this will affect his relationship with the evil Liverpool Direct which Joe and comrades so rightly oppose, is not yet clear.

I am somewhat confused though. Only a few years ago, another Labour blog was accusing the same Dr McElhinney of escaping with millions of taxpayers cash and Joe was even calling for a police investigation.

Oh well, we all have to make u-turns once we are in office don't we?

Perhaps Joe can appoint him AND have him investigated at the same time!

Lots of love and licks to my new Labour friends,
Dude

Try me free

OK so I haven't just been dreaming of sausages for the past two weeks.

I took a few days off to visit my friends in Linconshire and... I tremble in anticipation at the outrage that will come from my Lib Dem readers, I have been having a chat with Mr Anderson about how best I can continue my contribution to Liverpool's political scene.

Our city's new glorious leader has announced that he plans to create several new "champion" roles for the city, and he approached me to ask if I would be willing to take on the role of Liverpool's Canine Champion.

Of course, there is a string attached. I am expected to join the Labour party. But luckily Joe has offered me Labour's much trumpeted 6 month free trial membership.

Part of me feels disloyal to my readers in the Lib Dems, but from a blogging point of view it will be interesting to be able to offer an insight into the inner workings of the other team, and I hope my old readers will stick with me.

Please don't be too cross with me.

Lots of love and licks,

Dude

P.S. I still don't know how Sally will react to this news, but we could end up with a blog that genuinely represents both sides of the political divide.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Labour Landlords

Imagine waking up to the sound of someone nailing a labour sign to the side of your home?

This is what has happened to dozens of Wavertree residents, whose landlord have attached Luciana boards to the side of their homes and in the windows of countless empty properties.

So why are slum landlords so desperate to support Labour? What will they be getting after Thursday if the thug wins?

Are these the same developers who have also given Joe Anderson £50,000 for his election campaign, together with free cup-final tickets and lavish hospitality?

Putting them in their place

Eight jobs Alan

Hot on the heals of Merseytravel's fat-cat controller, we have his deputy: Liverpool Labour Councillor Alan Dean.

Liverpool basic salary: £9,879

Labour chief whip salary: £4,585

Merseytravel basic: £5,688

Merseytravel Deputy chair:£12,896

Committee Chair: £4,666

deputy committee chair: £3,883

panel chair: £5,737

Making a grand total of: £47,334

...and he still finds time to work as a "self employed consultant" training other councillors across the country - presumably in how to milk the system.

cooking the register

Political relatives can be a source of both pride and embarrassment, as these two posh lookalikes can testify. In both cases the dubious claim to fame is that they brought the country to it's knees.

While the lights went out on the economy after Lawson's disastrous handling of the economy, Manny Shinwell saw the lights litterally go out, after the then energy minister failed to ensure proper coal reserves during a bitter winter.

Criminal connections

While claiming Labour is tough on crime, Luciana keeps quiet about her family's underworld connections - Ernest Shinwell was an "associate" of the notorious Kray Twins.

Of course while Nigella sticks to cook books, Luciana likes to feature in electoral registers instead, London...Birmingham... even temporarily in Liverpool.

The Berger Hill Show

Luciana Berger is now turning into a national joke.

An hilarious article in today's Independent reveals how her campaign has descended into chaos.

A Sunday newspaper was described as having to chase her "Benny Hill style" round a supermarket in an attempt to get an interview, after fleeing her constituency office.

She even ran away from the Independent's journalist, and when she finally agreed to answer emailed questions, she could only answer 3 out of 17.

Symbolic campaign

"Senior figures within the local party, speaking on condition of anonymity, have described the running of the campaign as "shambolic". There have been reports of up to 30 workers turning up to canvass but being left to sit around with nothing to do. Others are said to have objected to the quality of the material they have been asked to deliver."

Is Baldock being sacrificed?

" Local councillors asked to argue her case fear they are in danger of being sacrificed to save her."

Well, there is only one local Labour councillor up for election. My blogging nemesis Louise Baldock. Sound like the former regional press officer could well be the "inside source".

One traditional Labour voice described the campaign as an example of the "worst excesses of New Labour". Opponents say that concerns over the quality of the candidate are now being realised. "They are afraid that if she is allowed a bit of freedom she will not only make a faux pas but run the risk of boring everyone to death," the source said.

Luciana, it's time for you to get your coat!

Fat-Cat Controller

The highest paid councillor in the country?

Well certainly a contender. It's Merseytravel's fat controller, Labour Councillor Mark Dowd, who I am told rakes in a cool £60k thanks to a cosy deal with the Tories who keep him in power,

Sefton Council salary: £8850

Merseytravel basic: £5,688

Various "special responsibility

allowances": £37,242.16

expenses: £7856.05

total: £59636.96

and that was for 2008/09, no doubt it's gone up since them. Thanks to the whistle blower who passed me the figures.

Aren't other Labour councillors ashamed of such greed?

Not singing but queuing

Yesterday an amazing sight was witnessed at Liverpool's Municipal Buildings, as countless young people queued up to register to vote before the deadline. It was, I am told, a scene you would expect to see in a new democracy in the third world as people wait in line to claim their democratic rights.

Meanwhile a "Rage Against The Machine" campaign to get the Lib Dems to number 1 has attracted over 120,000 members and increasing by over 10,000 every day.

And as Cleggmania takes over the nation, it is noticeable how quiet Labour's more arrogant and bombastic commentates have become.

From Dale Street Blues to Vote 2007 and ukpollingreport, Labour councillors, bloggers and commentators, who have so often delighted in dismissing the Lib Dems, appear to be feeling far less cocky.

So guys and Louise, this one is for you.

Cat gets man in hot water

In a relentless and hopeless effort by Joe Anderson and his barfly Waddington to smear Wavertree's MP in waiting, dirt has (literally) been dug up on the Lib Dem candidate's cat.

After his cat was suspected to have defecated in a Labour supporter's sandpit, Eldridge was facing Labour calls to apologise and immediately have the cat put down.

The repulsive act is being reported as part of an offensive anti-zionist/homophobic/racist/anti-Christian/fascist/crypt-communist (pick at least one of the above) slur, potentially leading to international condemnation and questions in the European Parliament.

In a damming report in tomorrow's Daily Post, Eldridge is briefly allowed to point out that he doesn't actually own a cat, before Joe Anderson is quoted demanding his resignation anyway.

"The fact the cat had previously been seen sitting on Eldridges's wall proves he is associated with it. Nothing less than his resignation and the cat's immediate destruction will be acceptable," said Labour's Councillor Joe Anderson.

Louise Baldock seized on the news, immediate blogging that this fascist feline outrage was proof that even Eldridge's mother-in-law can't still be planning to vote for him after this.

The report will be repeated in the Daily Mirror the following day, minus Eldridge's statement.

The bash street kids

Another lookalike for you all.

The "Little Boys at the Garmoyle"

The Bash Street Kids

I agree with Nick!

After watching last night's debate I was impressed to see Gordon Brown saying something I can completely support.

Coming soon...

If London Luciana thought she was having a hard time, things are about to get far worse.

My sources tell me that, following a tip off from a disgruntled Labour insider, Camden Berger is about to be hit by a major bombshell that will blow a hole in her campaign.

I've been sworn to secrecy, but watch the national papers for a major revelation.

Until now, its been like being slapped with a small fish. But there is always something in reserve...

...because I'm worth it

Six "girls who can't be expected to know about football" but happy to talk about hair, makeup and anything else girlie girlie, so long as it's not policies.

I can find no better words than the poster on Dale Street Blues, who said:

"Labour might just as well install an electric rotisserie in Emily Davison's grave because, if she can see this, it will be like a spinning top in there!"

If there was ever a poster advert against all women short lists, this is it.

In defense of Dude

I feel I must jump to the defense of my good friend Dude who has been unfairly slandered by soon to be ex councillor Baldock.

Dude has been accused of being a misogynist, as a liberated female dog (I object to the official term) this is not something I would stand for in any friend of mine.

So I spent some time looking back through Dude's posts to see if there was any truth to this accusation.

But first, Cllr Baldock's ridiculous accusation:

April 6, 2010 9:58 AM

Louise Baldock said:

I am not accusing Colin's campaign team of being misogynist, unless he is now acknowledging ownership of the Dude the Dog website. I was stating that the author of Dude the Dog blog is a misogynist. Who have the targets been? Me, Jane and Luciana mainly. Count how many comments are concerned with how we look, how we dress, unflattering photos of us. It is not about our views on housing regeneration or job creation etc, it is about our age, appearance, the state of play of our relationships etc. Dude the dog is a woman-hating blog.
This was my point.
Some of the responses above are red herrings. This is not about whether I am a feminist, or whether it was right for someone to write about the partner of a LibDem councillor getting a job in the LibDem group office without the job being advertised. I am talking about the hatred that Dude the Dog shows to women. That was why I used the word Dude/s in my post above. To distinguish the author(s) from the more decent majority of LibDems (men and women) who would never countenance such bile surely.

I can't find a single derogatory personal comment by Dude about Louise, Jane Kennedy or Luciana, and where unflattering photos have been used, they are actually photos that these three have put on their own websites. If they are that derogatory, why did you use them?

Has Dude taken the micky out of them? Well yes, it's a satirical blog. But if anything the only humans who have been the victims of derogatory comments about how they look have been men, particularly Joe Anderson and Sion Simon.

Have these three been particular targets? Well they have made themselves so.

Louise, if you write a vile blog abusing your opponents and calling them bast*rds, you are painting a large target on yourself.

Jane Kennedy's record as an MP was certainly nothing to be proud of, and Dude did a brilliant job exposing her expenses.

And Luciana Bating has become a popular sport in Liverpool amongst Journalists, politicians and the general public. She has been the greatest gift to any satirical dog.

All three are legitimate targets, and I can find no example of Dude overstepping the mark with them.

I know Dude is a big (small) dog and can look after himself. But he is a canine gentleman who is alway respectful towards females and I know that he finds such accusations hurtful.

I know many in the local Labour ranks are major fans of Dude, including at least one soon to be MP who has confessed to several Lib Dems how much he enjoys this blog.

After such a long fight to establish women in politics and demanding a right to be treated equally, it is demeaning to claim sexism ever time you are given a rough time.

Louise, you have lost the respect I had for you as a woman in politics.

Fading away

Not gone, but already forgotten, Wavertree MP Jane Kennedy is already fading away from what limited public profile she had in her constituency.

Camden Berger

Across Wavertree, stickers are appearing on doors from residents sick of Berger and takeaway flyers, as reported in the Daily Post's Brocklebank column, which described Luciana as a "tasty dish" but pointed out that she doesn't "come complete with French Fries and mayo".

So I was surprised when the following Berger advert landed in my mailbox this morning.

Something to chew over, but personally I would prefer a lamb shankley myself.

Bon appetit.

Fire up the status-quo

As Gene Cameron (not David Hunt - wasn't he MP for Wirral West?) fires up the Quatro to take us back to the 80's, the Labservative Party launched their new local poster, as London Luciana poses with her party's joint leader just hours before her other leader calls the election.

Watch out for it coming to a bill board near you!

Labour campaign poster

As Labour increasingly panic about Camden Berger, Gordon Brown has launched a new poster to help bolster her shambolic campaign.

Yet Brown was left confused when he realised that the posh public schoolgirl was actually the Labour candidate rather than a Tory challenger.

Jolly hockey sticks

All this talk of Gordon Brown reverting back to a class warfare election campaign is making for uncomfortable reading for London Luciana.

After all, while Gordon is telling everyone that Cameron is a toff from Eaton, she'll be worrying that people will start to look closer at her education.

At £11,000 a year, the posh Haberdashers' Aske's school is a bit beyond the reach of families in Old Swan, as is the commute down to London. Not that you would imagine it to be home to traditional Labour voters.

So I wasn't surprised by the result of Haberdashers' mock elections last week, which saw a landslide Conservative victory.

Second and third places went to the Lib Dem's and UKIP, but the school couldn't even be bothered to report if Labour managed to cling on to 4th place against the greens.

Splash back

I was out for my walk yesterday in the rain, and would you believe it a (Labour supporter or dog hater?) bus driver deliberately ran through an enormous puddle, leaving me completely drenched.

It's not funny! why do they do it?

When I got home I was shivering. I had to have my fur towelled dry and half an hour with the hair-dryer.

So I really had sympathy with the people in this video.

Party election broadcast

http://www.labservative.com