Monday, May 31, 2010

Falling out

Dear readers,

I have spent the week in a quandary, do I carry on contributing to this blog?

I am still reeling with shock at news of Dude's decision to join the dark side. I thought Dude was my friend, but he didn't even have the decency to discuss his decision with me first.

For the record, I will not be joining him, not now, not ever. In fact I really now need to consider if I am still willing to remain friends with him. I feel sick just at the thought that I have allowed Dude to sniff my bottom from time to time. Although I have resisted any further advances from him.

So do I carry on? Well yes I have decided I must, more now than ever. I owe it to all of you dear readers to make sure you get to hear both sides of the story.

But Dude, you'd better stay out of my way for a while, grrrrrrrr!

Friday, May 28, 2010

next to go...

Hot on the heals of Colin Hilton, I can exclusively reveal that Education boss Stuart Smith will be the next to jump ship before he is pushed.

My new friends in the Labour group tell me that the former Toxteth English Teacher is widely seen as a face that "doesn't fit" despite an admittedly impressive record (alongside Colin Hilton) of raising education standards and exam results in Liverpool.

Other top names they are also questioning include Assistant Chief Executive Ben Dolan and Regeneration chief John Kelly.

I must admit though, after the £1/2 million bill for axing Hilton I am a bit concerned that we will be landed with another big bill for clearing the lower ranks.

I just hope Joe doesn't have to resort to selling a few parks off to that nice Mr Flanagan to pay for it all. Yes I know I am now loyal to Labour, but I still like to enjoy my walkies.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

I told you so

So, as I exclusively revealed, David - The Rottweiler - McElhinney has been cleverly shoehorned in by our glorious leader and will act as our new Chief Executive - and what a masterstroke!

At a meeting yesterday to force out Colin - The Pidgeon - Hilton, Joe had to repeatedly attack bad boy Bradley for asking awkward questions. In the end Joe even had to threaten to have the Lib Dem thrown out of the meeting.

First the meeting agreed to the enforced "retirement" of Colin Hilton at a cost of erm, just under £1/2 Million! But boy it must be worth every penny, I think.

But at least Joe had a cunning plan to spot any embarrassing details leaking out. The reports where tabled at the meeting, and had to be handed back at the end.

Yet Joe's final coup-de-grace was yet to come!

An unexpected report was suddenly placed on the table shortlisting 4 potential candidates for Hilton's replacement, before announcing that two of the candidates didn't actually want the job anyway.

So Joe decided to go ahead and interview both candidates, Dr McElhinney and Cath Green, there and then.

A done deal? You might very well think that, however I couldn't possibly comment. However I can confirm that Dr McElhinney got the job and it will be confirmed later today... but then as regular readers of my blog you knew that days ago didn't you?

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The Rottweiler's back

I couldn't wait until tomorrow to feed you this titbit I received from my new leader today.

Just days after forcing out Colin (The Pigeon) Hilton it seems that another old face is being brought back to replace him.

Dr David McElhinney (known as the Rottweiler) will be installed as Chief Executive - the role he always dreamed of.

How this will affect his relationship with the evil Liverpool Direct which Joe and comrades so rightly oppose, is not yet clear.

I am somewhat confused though. Only a few years ago, another Labour blog was accusing the same Dr McElhinney of escaping with millions of taxpayers cash and Joe was even calling for a police investigation.

Oh well, we all have to make u-turns once we are in office don't we?

Perhaps Joe can appoint him AND have him investigated at the same time!

Lots of love and licks to my new Labour friends,

Try me free

OK so I haven't just been dreaming of sausages for the past two weeks.

I took a few days off to visit my friends in Linconshire and... I tremble in anticipation at the outrage that will come from my Lib Dem readers, I have been having a chat with Mr Anderson about how best I can continue my contribution to Liverpool's political scene.

Our city's new glorious leader has announced that he plans to create several new "champion" roles for the city, and he approached me to ask if I would be willing to take on the role of Liverpool's Canine Champion.

Of course, there is a string attached. I am expected to join the Labour party. But luckily Joe has offered me Labour's much trumpeted 6 month free trial membership.

Part of me feels disloyal to my readers in the Lib Dems, but from a blogging point of view it will be interesting to be able to offer an insight into the inner workings of the other team, and I hope my old readers will stick with me.

Please don't be too cross with me.

Lots of love and licks,

P.S. I still don't know how Sally will react to this news, but we could end up with a blog that genuinely represents both sides of the political divide.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Labour Landlords

Imagine waking up to the sound of someone nailing a labour sign to the side of your home?

This is what has happened to dozens of Wavertree residents, whose landlord have attached Luciana boards to the side of their homes and in the windows of countless empty properties.

So why are slum landlords so desperate to support Labour? What will they be getting after Thursday if the thug wins?

Are these the same developers who have also given Joe Anderson £50,000 for his election campaign, together with free cup-final tickets and lavish hospitality?