Monday, November 30, 2009

A tale of two tashes

At the risk of ending up with guacamole on my face, I found a strong similarity between these two moustached individuals, when digging through my archives the other day.

Yes this is the fourth of my promised Lord Mayor lookalikes and the de-facto Prime Minister (the only title he hasn't actually got)who according to legend mistook mushy peas in a Hartlepool chip shop for an avocado-based dip.

The biggest difference of course is that Paul Clark is a winner, not a spinner!

Friday, November 27, 2009

Follow The Dude

I was rather shocked when I sneaked into the cinema last week.

Before the big picture, we were presented with the following short film encouraging you all to live more like me.

I would have fallen off my seat if I hadn't actually been laying under it!

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Winter's tail

Trotting down Edge Lane the other day I got a text message inviting me to the preview of the excellent Go Penguins exhibition.

It really is all very exciting and good to see that so many local school children have got involved with the project.

I am looking forward to trotting round town to see them on public display, but these three chaps agreed to be photographed with me while still in "cold storage" so to speak.

They were very friendly and certainly well worth a visit.

You can download a copy of the penguin trail map here.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Shutting up shop

We keep hearing rumours that Labour have all but given up on Wavertree, well this could be the proof.

Thanks to one regular reader who send in this photo last week of Labour HQ on Prescott Road, with a For Rent sign outside.

Office space and print room to let? Available from May 2010.
For reasons not entirely clear, Gravy Train Jane rents this office from the owners of Liver Launderettes and, of course, charges this to her expenses.

Of course that this is also Labour's campaign office for the city, complete with taxpayer funded risograph printing press and phone bank (naughty naughty) so the loss of this facility will surely hit Labour hard after the election.

Maybe Lib Dem Colin will put in an offer to house his new office?

Monday, November 23, 2009


I have really really got to stop people sending their own lookalikes in. This week's posting is really starting to stretch the imagination.

A few weeks ago Labour deputy Paul Brant paid for a lavish 007 themed 40th birthday party for himself, hiring the Mersey Ferry for the evening.

How much it cost, we may never know. But perhaps all the money Paul saved over the years by misusing his council parking pass will have helped lessen the wear on his bank balance.

As the night wore on one guest, by this time rather drunk, was actually willing to mistake these two characters for Labour councillors.

Friday, November 20, 2009

A slap in the face

Long serving Labour party members where left seething and insulted after Lou-Bo and Gravy Train Jane invited an "intimate" group to hear David Mili-bland in a meeting at the Devonshire Hotel.

The first most Labour members heard about this was on Dale Street Blues where Mr Bartlett picked up on this secret meeting after my blogging nemesis "bragged about it on her blog," and hailed the availability of FREE tea and biscuits.

Bartlett's blog is now full of comments from angry Labour members who felt they had been slapped in the face by their own party.

Lou Bo, desperate to undo the damage, then claimed every Labour member in the North West had been invited by e-mail. Only for Labour members to respond, "oh no we haven't!"

One member, who was important enough to be invited, tried to defend the decison saying, "Foreign Sec's visits can't be too highly publicised as he needs added security".

So never mind chaps, your only good enough to go out delivering in the rain and the snow. They couldn't invite you because you might be "a security risk."

Go stuff some more envelopes, do some more canvassing, and you might get invited to have a mince pie with Joe Anderson.

While he was here, Bland (who is not a Mili) praised our very own Gravy Train Jane as the saviour of the Labour Party.

Apparently this upstanding woman who, we are told (mainly by her), almost single handedly fought Militant in Liverpool, is the same lady who claims she is quitting politics because those nasty Lib Dems make fun of her expenses.

Ah didums!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Labour thow in the towel

Prospective Labour candidates eyeing up Gravy Train Jane's seat might think twice after reading this article in The Times.

Labour is now so strapped for cash, and so certain of defeat, they are writing off 60 seats where they currently have MPs.

Seats with majorities of 3000 or less face being cut off completely, while others with larger majorities are being made to show evidence of campaigning in order to stand a chance of getting funding.

Meanwhile Labour MPs are complaining about being "fobbed off" with DIY tool kits and three quarters of Labour's 80 seat phone bank is lying empty, as the party has only funds to staff 20 phone lines. "Drastic cut backs" are being made as expected donations "fail to materialise."

It all begs the question if Liverpool Wavertree, notional majority of 3038, has escaped this list?

There has been little evidence of campaigning over the past 4 1/2 years apart from what can be paid for on Jane's taxpayer funded "Communications Allowance". Are the extra 38 votes really enough to save this seat for Labour?

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Surprise Berger bash attendance

Odds have shortened on the surprise potential candidate for Wavertree, Luciana Berger, who was spotted sitting next to MP Jane Kennedy at a Labour fundraising dinner at the Devonshire Hotel last week.

Was this a trip to case out the constituency? With this probably being her first visit to Liverpool, it would be interesting to know her impressions.

Jane's obvious favouritism is believed to be causing some annoyance amongst other potential candidates, some of whom have been working with JFK for years.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

"We've given up"

With all the current excitement I forgot to tell you all about my recent trip to London.

I popped into a meeting of the Improvement and Development Agency, just to find out what was going on.

From my vantage point under the buffet table I was astonished to spot two vaguely familiar faces, who looked amazingly like councillors Jim Knokes and Claire Wilner, discussing Labour's chances in Wavertree with another councillor.

"We've all but given up holding Wavertree," they said!

Come on, where's your fighting spirit?

Monday, November 16, 2009

Cats and Dogs

Another lookalike send in by a regular reader. Two campaigners on the Liberal-left.

Actress Susan Sarandon campaigned against the war and is a UN goodwill ambassador but I best remember her as the voiceover of Ivy, the stray Saluki, in the film Cats and Dogs. She was really hot!

My fellow blogger, university lecturer and former Journalist Paula Keaveney however is apparently more of a cat person. But I won't hold that against her.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Who would pay for a website like this?

Take a look at Peter Kilfoyle's website.

I know what you're thinking. A rather quaint website from the early 90's that someone forgot to close down? Wrong! It appears to have been created in 2008...yes 2008!

Incredibly he paid £176.25 for this (on expenses of course!) Quite possibly the worst website of the century. Someone saw him coming.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Kilfoyle's Blackwash

Like Jane Kennedy, Peter Kilfoyle is another expert in the art of "blackwashing" receipts.

See if you can learn anything from this one?Thought not. You have to wonder what it is they are so ashamed of?

Friday, November 13, 2009

Keep it in the party?

While the spotlight is on Peter Kilfoyle, I though I should have a look at his expenses.

Under his "communications allowance" we see a £312.50 invoice for the delivery of 5000 leaflets on 25th March 2008.

"£62.50 per thousand? That's a bit steep," I hear you say. Well yes it is, particularly when Trinity Mirror was charging him £17.70 per thousand to deliver the same leaflet in the rest of his constituency.

The invoice was from Breckfield and North Everton Neighbourhood Council Ltd, which has one former Labour leader of the council on the payroll and has another Labour councillor on the board.

Was this declared anywhere?

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Keep it in the family

Peter Kilfoyle is under investigation for allegedly paying his daughter taxpayers money to produce an "Independent Report" supposedly proving the need for an elected mayor in Liverpool.

The report goes on to complain about "conflict of interests" and claim there is a "closed and incestuous shop". Would that be the same store you went to for your research Peter?

That anyone could be so stupid to try this on in normal times would be bad enough, but in the current expenses climate anyone with two brain cells to rub together would have realised how this would rightly blow up in your face.

As Joe The Pitbull would say, he should resign or be sacked by his party.

The arrogance of a safe seat perhaps made him think he could get away with it, but it could well mean another Labour held seat looking for a candidate in a few weeks.

Of course this leaves a dilemma for Steve Rotherham, Roz Gladden and others thinking of seeking selection for Wavertree. Why take on a seat you will probably lose, when a seat with a much larger majority might be just around the corner?

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Three horse race

Despite Jane Kennedy declaring the "Two horse race" knackered and demanding the vets be called in to put the animal out of it's misery, its looking like there are only two or three serious candidates to replace her.

With a wafer thin majority and a new candidate faced with just 4 months to build a profile and catch up with 6 years of campaigning by Colin Eldridge, it's not expected that Labour will have people battering the door down to get selected. Not when there are safer seats going vacant elsewhere.

I have talked to Labour insiders over the past few days, and here are the odds for the most likely runners.

Roz (married to one of the militant 47) Gladden 4/6

Paul (parking pass abuser) Brant NON RUNNER

Steve (M'lord) Rotherham EVENS

Unknown outsider imposed from London 10/11

Malcolm (ex husband) Kennedy 14/1

Joe (The Pitbull) Anderson NON RUNNER

Anna Rothery 16/1

Liam (St Annes) Robinson 18/1

Luciana (Euan Blair's ex girlfriend) Berger 20/1

Ollie (Boot Camp) Martins 22/1

Nick (Twice Monthly) Small 35/1

Wendy (Pussy Galore) Simon 44/1

Susan (Sue-Bo) Boyle 60/1

Louise (Gratuitously Offensive) Baldock 100/1 outsider


There has been widespread disappointment (in the Lib Dem camp) as Louise Baldock has announced she will not run. Instead she says she will be behind her candidate, kicking ass big style!!! Ouch!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Runaway Jane

As first suggested (exclusively) on Dude The Dog in August, Jane Kennedy is quitting parliament at the next election.

Among her stated reasons for quitting are the thought of a bitter contest to hold her seat, not wanting to be forced to give up her second (third?) home to live "in barracks", she added that not being allowed to employ her boyfriend after the election was also a factor.

Bizarrely she also claimed that she had tired of “highly personal attacks” from Liberal Democrats. I don't recall leaflets going out directly attacking her boyfriend. Only leaflets questioning her record as an MP and (very mild) questioning of her pay and expenses. In my book that's called public accountability.

Another factor must be the thought of having to dip into her own pocket for a very hard election campaign. Estranged from the leadership, with a tough battle ahead, and a party running on empty, she surely realised that she could count on little help from Labour nationally.

Tomorrow we will have a look at some of the runners and riders to replace her.

In the meantime, I offer her and her new puppy my sincere best wishes for their retirement. Hopefully her large severance payout (her third in as many years) and generous parliamentary pension will make the transition easier, and allow her to spend more time in her French villa.

Salute et encore merci pour le saucisses! Honnêtement, bonne chance et meilleurs vœux pour l'avenir!

Monday, November 9, 2009

Long arm of the law

Another lookalike has been sent in for your amusement, one used to be a law enforcer while the other was a law breaker.

Actor John Savident used to be a policeman before appearing in the cop show Z cars.

Joe Anderson however felt the other end of the long arm of the law, with his publicly self confessed "criminal record" for stealing cash from a parking meter, before later becoming a pub landlord. Yet legend has it that Joe's pub was a million miles away from the cosy Rovers Return.

Keep those lookalikes coming in!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Bonfire night

Bonfire night - not usually my favourite night of the year, although I understand the council have organised some great displays for humans to enjoy.

The loud banging doesn't bother me much, but I'm usually left to comfort friends who find the night too stressful.

Tonight I've been asked to look after my new neighbour Sandy, while his family host a bonfire party.

So yet again I have been using the Dude The Dog patented method of keeping canines calm and peaceful on the loudest night of the year.

And as a public service, Sandy has kindly agreed to have his picture published in the hope that other members of our species will benefit.

The train to nowhere

Now the dust has settled, I thought it was time for an in depth look at some of the individual details of local MPs expenses claims.

Part 1: The train to nowhere.

The idea of publishing expenses is to show that our MPs have nothing to hide. Obviously you would expect things like credit card numbers to be blanked out but Gravy-Train Jane's staff do seem to have gone mad with the marker pen.

Several train tickets such as the one below appear (bizarrely) under the "Communications Allowance" with such basic information as the date travelled, the destination, and even the point of origin blanked out.It's bad enough we don't know who was travelling (Gravy-Train Jane's boyfriend perhaps?) but to cover up the date and destination only adds to the suspicion.

I know train tickets are expensive, but a quick search on trainline shows an advance ticket for even a peak journey to London tomorrow can be had for far less than £82 - but surprisingly a single from Liverpool to Brighton can be had for that very price.

Was the journey for a member of staff to attend an important meeting in Westminster? Or was it for a dirty weekend in Brighton? We may never know.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Sausages and Gravy

Perhaps I misjudged Gravy-Train Jane?

In her latest appearance in parliament Jane Kennedy launched a scathing attack on vegetarianism and a brave defense of British Sausage Week - yes even I missed that one!

Rural Affairs debate 29th October: "May I ask my hon. Friend the Minister to reinforce what he said in the earlier part of Question Time by gently saying to Lord Stern that, during British sausage week, we celebrate a varied diet and the value that it brings; that it should be a question of "all things in moderation"; and that if it is being suggested that vegetarianism will save the world, I am not sure that it is a world in which I want to live?"

Well said Jane, this sausage eating canine salutes you. Although part of me wonders if this is just a cynical attempt to win over your greatest critic.

Gravy-Train Jane went on to attack ministers for their failure to tackle the nations badger menace, linking it into the rising number of farmer suicides. Another hot issue in Wavertree.

More bizarrely, a week earlier she claimed that "many ordinary people in Iran" have been e-mailing her to share their concerns about their country's nuclear programme.

Considering only 47 out of 129 of her constituents who used "writetothem" to contact Jane say that they even got a reply, why they would choose to write to her is anybody's guess.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Terror on fright night

Yet again the Echo have leapt to the defence of poor picked on Joe who was "attacked" by Graham Sankey on Halloween.

As Joe Anderson and his son cowered in terror within their locked car in a traffic jam, Joe was called an "F***ing Grass" and suffered two small dents to his car.

This must be the first time in history a small dent on a car has made it to the front page in such dramatic fashion.

Sankey has (rightly) been picked up and charged for denting Joe's car, but wouldn't it be nice if the rest of us could count on such police and media protection. Just ask anyone who received a car dent or an egg at the window over the weekend.

Meanwhile the Echo refuses to investigate why Joe (according to the Echo's own report) appears to have tipped off a fellow Labour councillor about a child porn investigation (following which hundreds of files were deleted from a computer the day before that councillor was arrested) won't report that Joe is being investigated for bullying a council employee, and for 8 years have flatly refused to print any letter or story criticising Joe Anderson.

Friends in high places?

Monday, November 2, 2009

Another Clein?

If times ever get hard for former Beatle and Thomas The Tank Engine voiceover Ringo Starr, he could always try his hand as a professional Eddie Clein lookalike.