Terror on fright night

Yet again the Echo have leapt to the defence of poor picked on Joe who was "attacked" by Graham Sankey on Halloween.

As Joe Anderson and his son cowered in terror within their locked car in a traffic jam, Joe was called an "F***ing Grass" and suffered two small dents to his car.

This must be the first time in history a small dent on a car has made it to the front page in such dramatic fashion.

Sankey has (rightly) been picked up and charged for denting Joe's car, but wouldn't it be nice if the rest of us could count on such police and media protection. Just ask anyone who received a car dent or an egg at the window over the weekend.

Meanwhile the Echo refuses to investigate why Joe (according to the Echo's own report) appears to have tipped off a fellow Labour councillor about a child porn investigation (following which hundreds of files were deleted from a computer the day before that councillor was arrested) won't report that Joe is being investigated for bullying a council employee, and for 8 years have flatly refused to print any letter or story criticising Joe Anderson.

Friends in high places?

Another Clein?

If times ever get hard for former Beatle and Thomas The Tank Engine voiceover Ringo Starr, he could always try his hand as a professional Eddie Clein lookalike.

Round 1: Dave v Marc

While it has long been rumoured they don't get on, this week saw the first public salvo between the Post & Echo's Dave Bartlett and Marc Waddington.

Ever the conscientious professional, Dave deleted unpleasant comments from his blog attacking a Lib Dem Councillor's girlfriend. When the Labour poster complained, Dave made the following remark.

I took the view that part of your post was too personal (nothing to do with complaints or otherwise of other people). For the sake of clarifying the rules of engagement vis-a-vis commenting on DSB. You can say whatever you like, so long as it is not libelous, distasteful, or too personal, and while you might call it teasing to bring into the debate the girlfriend of a political foe, that is stepping over the personal line for me.

Nothing to disagree with there, I hear you say. Yet this is widely being interpreted as a swipe at Marc for his recent article splashing Colin Eldridge's girlfriend across the front page.

Well from the public condemnation I've been hearing on the streets, I'd say that Davey B is the people's champ on this one.

Ding Ding!

Two faced gravy-train Jane

As previously reported here (the Daily Post have only just caught up) Gravy-train Jane Kennedy is soon to be hit by the ban on MPs employing their partners.

You would think that after recent events she would keep quiet and accept the ruling, but instead she is planning to lead the rebellion on behalf of Labour MPs who want to continue to employ their wives, husbands, boyfriends, and children at our expense and without any independent checking of their suitability or qualifications.

It has to be asked if she received advice from Joe Anderson before em-barking on this strategy, knowing that he is such a courageous campaigner on such issues, bravely willing to bully innocent young women in order to get at his opponents.

And then there is the Daily Post, printing the heart wrenching story of MPs partners in tears at the thought of losing their jobs. Really touching in this supposed age of hard nosed media.

The question you have to ask yourself is who is more two faced? Jane Kennedy or the Daily Post?

Who's seat is it anyway?

A master of improvisation, this next character was left dumbstruck after accidently becoming an MP in 1997. His employers failed to see the funny side, having been promised he had no chance of winning.

The folk of Enfield quickly corrected their mistake, and this cockney lad packed up his carpet bag thinking that the people of West Derby might like a less independent minded Labour MP, who would do as he was told.

Talent deficit

If ever there was proof that there is a major talent deficit in the Labour party, it's the sight of backbenchers turning to Gravy-train Jane Kennedy as a possible saviour to topple Gordon Brown.

Unfortunatly for Jane, as the Daily Post points out: "Ms Kennedy admitted she was wrestling with fears that the role would drag her away from her constituency – a key Liberal Democrat election target – in the run-up to next year's election."

"My concern would be that I have a very tough contest in my constituency and I need to devote the maximum amount of time to that contest," said Jane.

A tough fight indeed, and she will need all the help she can get from the national Labour Party to help her hold on. Gord help her them!

Bulldog turns chicken

My spies tell me that Lou-Bo chickened out of a major public meeting in Kensington that was discussing the future of her ward last night.

Spoiling for a fight, Lou-Bo, Twice Monthly Nick, Blackpool Liam and Wendy the Weimaraner had actually demanded that a neighbourhood committee meeting be cancelled so that they could turn up to Kensington Regeneration's last ever annual public meeting.

The meeting was discussing plans to replace Kensington Regeneration when it winds up in 6 months time with a Community Interest Company, to be run by the local community with all residents as members.

Even though this is Labour party policy, and the model used by almost every other "New Deal for Communities" area in the country, Labour councillors objected. Instead demanding to control the money themselves so that they could claim credit for how it was spent.

Angry residents got wind of their plans and turned up "mob handed" ready to take on their Labour Councillors, and the police were on hand in case things turned ugly. Residents won support from the Bishop of Liverpool and even invited Lib Dem champ Colin Eldridge along to stand up for them.

Alas the battle was not to be.

Realising that despite two weeks of spreading lies and half truths in the community local residents were still against them, the Labour Warriors turned tail and fled.

It just shows what communities can do when they stand together against Labour.

As a result Louise, Wendy, Nick, Christine & Sharon, and particularly Liam Sir Robbinson, the following song is dedicated to you.

Your fired, darling

Wavertree MP (Gravy-train) Jane Kennedy looks set to be forced to sack her boyfriend under new rules to be approved by Gordon Brown.

Jane has refused to answer questions about how he was appointed, or even how much he is being paid from her expenses for his work as a researcher.

Questions such as who interviewed him (considering Jane's obvious conflict of interest), what were is qualifications for the job, and who assesses his performance have gone unanswered, leading to suggestions that his appointment was either blatant nepotism and a misuse of £1000's of taxpayers money, or a million to one co-incidence.

This is all the more hypocritical considering the public naming and bullying by Pitbull Joe against so called "Libdem Laura" - Assisted by his drinking buddy Marc the Weimardoodle - who's only crime appears to be being in a relationship with a Lib Dem Councillor.

But then we all know that's just a smokescreen to take the pressure off Gravy-train Jane don't we?

Luckily for her constituents, more and more wheels seem to be coming off Jane's gravy train. So Jane as a public service this link is provided for your reference next June.

Little Lord Makinson

This week's lookalike was suggested repeatedly by Joe Anderson, when ranting across the council chamber.

A particular hate figure for most on the opposition benches, several Labour councillors have expressed a grudging respect for his talents as a campaigner, and his continued electoral survival over the past decade in seats that Labour were convinced they would win, despite barely looking old enough to vote.

Reported to the standards board by Joe Anderson more times than I've had hot dinners, you can clearly judge a man by the enemies he keeps.

Labour come 5th

Yet more humiliation for Labour after they came 5th today in a key mayoral by-election.

Liberal Democrats stormed to victory in Bedford, with the Tories second, two independent candidates in 3rd and 4th place, with Labour trailing behind alongside the green party.

Particularly humiliating when you consider Bedford has a Labour MP.

Congratulations to everyone involved including a contingent from Liverpool. Doggy treats all round.

Spelling mistakes

Embarrassed wannabe MP Stephen Twigg and Croxteth's Rosie the rottweiler were forced to issue an apology after repeatedly mis-spelling Croxteth on their leaflets.

The red faced former schools minister described it as a "printing error" on the leaflet entitled "Croxteh Labour Rose" and referring to "Croxeth" within the text.

School teacher Heidi Minnaar told the Echo: “I for one will not be voting for anyone who cannot even spell the name of the ward I live in."

“It is indeed a very poor showing when those who wish to be our voice in politics cannot spell the name of the ward they claim to or wish to represent.”

I'm sure readers will now start picking up on numerous spelling mistakes on this blog, but it really is a bit pathetic if Labour can't spot such a glaring error in the title of your publication.

Fly me to Cape Town

In a blatant bid for a free holiday, Joe the Pitbull today launched a campaign to twin Liverpool with Ladysmith in South Africa, to coincide with the 2010 world cup.

The cynic in me suspects that Joe just want's to go to see the football, without coughing up for the plane fare.

Chris for President

North West Euro-MP Chris Davies today launched an audacious bid to become president of Europe.

Announcing his "Stop Blair" candidature in a letter to European heads of state, Chris expressed a hope that his never having decieved parliament or caused the death of thousands of people, will not prejudice his application.

He finished by informing heads of state that his first executive role was chair of Liverpool's housing committee in the 1980's against opposition from Hatton's Militant Labour party. So chairing meetings of European heads of government should be a doddle after that!!!

As Chris points out, anyone can apply as there is no offical criteria. Even a blogging dog could be eligable.

How about it, should I put my name forward? Dude for President!

The Muppet Show

You could well argue that there are plenty of muppets in the Labour Party anyway, so finding a lookalike is no great deal. Yet the resemblance between this former Lord Mayor and this well known grumpy agitator is striking indeed.

One of the Labour old guard, he managed to survive despite being deselected by a taskforce sent in by the Labour NEC to clean up the local party a decade ago.

Jane's Gravy Train Tales

Someone has passed under my nose a recording of Roger Phillips interviewing Jane Kennedy about her expenses. I have picked out Gravy Train Jane's comments for your amusement.

Jane Kennedy: "I'm being accused of eating and being made redundant and receiving a severance payment."

Err, no luv. You are being accused of milking a system which you helped create over the past 17 years, claiming £13,000 on food and being paid £20,000 for quitting a job - a perk available only to bankers and ministers.

Jane Kennedy: "The total cost of the expenses that I am to the taxpayer of wavertree is about £140,000 a year includes 4 excellent people in the constituency office that has access off the high-street."

Oh dear oh dear, someone has had too many pork pies on their food expenses! You conveniently left your salary out of this figure, which last year was £104,000. So you cost the taxpayer £1/4 million.

Jane Kennedy: "We worked it out at about £2 per voter per year, thats about half the cost of a pack of pick and mix sweets."

You must buy your pick and mix in Harrods - on your food expenses no doubt. And it's £3.38 - you would expect the former Chief Financial Secretary to the Treasury to be able to add up.

Jane Kennedy: "well I didn't come into this job to make a lot of money, if I'd stayed as a council officer when I worked for Liverpool, i'm confident I would now be in a senior position earning considerably more that the £64,000 a year i make as an MP. If I'd stayed as a union official, I would probably be earning more than I am now.

Well she certainly believes in herself even if no one else does.

Jane Kennedy: "And in my time as an MP, two things personally that I have done for the constituency I am particularly proud of.

1. When I resigned as a health minister I was doing so because the government at the time was trying to bring in a formula that would have cut the funding to Alder Hey by £10million.

The second thing I am proud of is I was approached by the Liberal Democrat Council as was Louise Ellman to see if we could use our good offices to secure the £15million for Edge Lane. That is real politics. When the electors come to decide on value for money at the end of the day, I would like them to consider some of the points I am making to you this afternoon."

What a lot to show for 17 years work, I take it all back, clearly you are great value for money.

Jane Kennedy: "What the Liberal Democrats have no experience of is how hard you have to work as a government minister. There isn't a minister in government who doesn't work really hard, and they are working at the moment in extremely difficult economic circumstances."

Which you helped to create as Treasury Minister!

Jane Kennedy: "But you know you do the job because you love it, the pay is just the icing on the cake.

When you were a child did you sneak downstairs in the night and steal all the icing off the Christmas cake?

Jane Kennedy: "But in terms of the packages I have to pay back i'm not even going to get into it."

I bet you're not! You will probably need that money after next May.

More good reasons to joint the campaign to help derail Jane's Gravy Train.

Doggy chips

I don't tend to take much notice of the goings on at the other end of the Mersey, yet this story on Withington MP John Leech's website did catch my attention.

John has been doing a very worthwhile job with the Dogs Trust in promoting the chipping of dogs, to make sure that my colleagues can always be returned to their owners if they should get lost.

But what really made me sit up and notice was his new glamorous assistant, Jessica, who was recently returned home safely thanks the tagging scheme.

Isn't she cute? I wonder if John could introduce me to her?

Councillor Who?

Two Scouse lads made good, one well know for saving the galaxy a number of times from the menace of the Cybermen, the other helping to save Liverpool from a far greater menace...the Labourmen.

A week of crime

Gordon Brown boasted that 12 years of Labour had slashed crime by a third, only to be knocked a fatal blow a few hours later by a senior Labour Councillor.

Joe Hanson (AKA Sergeant Bilko) told street cleaners that his Kirkdale ward has now become so dangerous with knife wielding yobs that they should only work his neighbourhood in the mornings when the gangs are still in bed!

Too often people in inner city areas have long since given up on reporting crime, but why should Gordon care - it makes the figures look better.

I wonder how other Liverpool Labour members feel this week about their party's claim to have cut crime?

One candidate apparently complained to his (Lib Dem) councillor that his bike was stolen while campaigning for the Labour party at the weekend, while there is speculation that my blogging nemesis might also have been a unfortunate victim of crime, after she was spotted in a bruised and disheveled state yesterday.

Not a great week for Labour on crime then. Or anything else!

Playing politics with Hillsborough

Has Labour sunk to a new low?

Anyone typing "Labour" into Google yesterday would have been confronted with an advert attacking The Sun chipwrappingpaper and comparing the paper's recent treatment of the Labour party with it's shameful coverage of the Hillsborough disaster - complete with link to the Labour website.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/labour/6247256/Pro-Labour-Google-adverts-attack-Sun-over-Hillsborough-disaster.html

Quickly realizing how spectacularly this was about to backfire, particularly in Liverpool, our very own pitbull Joe Anderson was quickly wheeled out to deny that this was an official Labour party advert.

Regardless of whether it was official or not, someone in the Labour party thought that it was a good idea. Whoever it was who did this, they need to be quickly hunted down, exposed and everyone involved kicked out of the party - if not then the whole party should be rightly condemned.

Red and Blue can mix

These two are fast becoming bosom pals (with extra marrowbone)!

The one in the red team is a lifelong Blue while the one in the blue team is a lifelong Red. Confused? I think even they are.

After many a cosy chat together, you can start to see a resemblance... well if you put the Pitbull on a very strict diet for a few months, and ironed his face a little.

Of course, both share an interest in receiving taxpayers' money.

With four homes Grayling claiming for a second home (until the expenses scandal broke), even though he lives 14 miles from London. Joe, of course is famous for asking for pay rises from Council Tax payers.

They hope to be working together after next May, which is clearly upsetting some on their own teams.

Kensington Crufts

I'm truly gutted not to have been invited to take part - clearly this was deliberate so as not to cause embarrassment to Jane Kennedy who, in one of her rare appearances, was judging the competition.

Congratulations to the winner anyway.

Standing up for the rich

Owners of £1million+ properties in Kensington and Fairfield will be relieved to hear that their Labour Councillor and my blogging nemesis, Lou-Bo, is sticking up for them against that nasty Robbin Hood character Vince Cable, who's evil tax on the rich would see the money passed on to less deserving poor folk who would just waste it on food and gas bills.

Even worse, she wonders, "Will this penalise the Londoners at the expense of the northerners?"

Less funny is that I didn't see her opposing the scraping of the 10p tax band, which left many hard working families in Kensington and Fairfield up to £400 a year poorer.

Perhaps this is a classic case of wrong blog post in the wrong Kensington? Or has kissing too many Tories driven her to the right?

If she want's to fight the election as the self styled Sheriff of Kensington, then that's fine with me.

Tories back Anderson

If there was ever a sign that there is barely a cigarette paper between Labour and the Tories these days, it was the sight of Tory Shadow Minister Chris Grayling praising our very own Joe Anderson.

“I like Joe, I talk to him from time to time. He’s a decent guy," said Grayling.

News of these cosy chats with the Tories came as a shock to many Labour members, and some will be wondering if there is anyone he won't try to do a deal with in order to get into power.

However, despite his recent admission of being ashamed of Labour, I'm not going to give any credence to the story that our municipal pitbull could in-fact represent the Tories best chance to get a councillor in Liverpool.

In the money

Visitors to a certain chain of bookmakers have been rather disturbed to be greeted by advertising images of a certain former Labour Lord Mayor with a colourful personal life.

His continual success with the ladies has stunned many, his wives included. But fair play to him, he certainly looks like someone who knows where the money is buried.

Lookalike Monday

By popular demand, I am introducing a new season of lookalikes, which will now be in a regular Monday morning slot to brighten up those dreary back to work blues.

And have we got a selection for you over the next few weeks, including a wannabe MP, 4 former Lord Mayors, and a few famous names.

Monday mornings will never be the same again!

Take your dog to work

I'm hard at work in the office this morning, answering the phone, doing a spot of filing and trotting out to welcome visitors.

"Why are you doing this?" I hear you ask.

Well it's national Take Your Dog To Work Day, organized by the Blue Cross, which encourages dog owners to spend more time with their furry friends by taking them into work with them.

Too many of my colleagues are left at home all day to howl and whimper while their owners are out working to pay for their keep. But today you can spend the whole day with your best friend.

Gotta dash, phone's ringing again...

Conspiracy theory

With all the stories about secret deals between Gordon Brown and Colonel Gadaffi, I thought it would be timely to remind everyone that there is many a truth hidden in a conspiracy theory.

Snogging revelation

I am truly shocked at the news that my Labour blogging nemesis Lou-Bo (84 places behind me) has outed herself as, of all things, a Tory Snogger!!!

"I joined friends and colleagues at Manchester Pride last weekend. We marched together wearing our bright red "Never kissed a Tory, never will" T-shirts (not technically true in my case, to be honest it is not the first thing I ask a potential snogee and a few have snuck through over the years" Lou-Bo

I really don't want to dwell on the thought of my nemesis going around randomly snogging tories.

Not that she seems to be feeling much love in Kensington and Fairfield. After three and a half years of rubbing residents up the wrong way, my spies in that neighbourhood tell me that the Lou-Bo name is rapidly turning into a waterlogged earth-like substance.

Has Ellman defected?

I was rather astonished to see this article in today's Daily Mail (not my usual paper I might add) which claims that Louise Ellman is now a Lib Dem MP!

I don't know how that news slipped past me.

Sloppy journalism aside, it was an interesting article. Rightly pointing out that Jack Straw (Labour Justice Minister remember - no matter how much Labour locally try to pretend he has nothing to do with them) refused to free Michael Sheilds until his dad threatened to stand against him at the next election.

What they fail to mention is that Michael could have been free 4 years ago, and anyone else who had actually been guilty of such a crime would by now have probably been let out by Labour anyway.

Feeling a little smug

After my recent success at officially becoming the nation's 16th favourite Lib Dem blog, I was anxious to find out how my local rivals had been doing.

My friendly blogging rival Paula Keaveney came in at a very respectable 30th place, followed by Chris Davies MEP on 33 and Birkdale Focus at 39.

No Merseyside Tory bloggers made the list, with disappointment for Wirral Tory Councillor Chris Blakely, whose blog has so far only brought him a £7000 bill for libel damages and costs.

It was also a very disappointing result though for my Labour blogging nemesis Lou-Bo, coming in at a rather dismal 100th (out of 100).

Bad luck old girl, I'm sure there's someone out there who's reading you. I might pop over to visit tomorrow just to cheer you up...(to your blog that is, I don't want anyone getting the wrong idea!)

---------------------Update-------------------

Louise is very upset by this posting, and I have been asked point out that she came 100/100 on the (loosely defined) left-wing list rather than the Labour one. I am happy to oblige.

Finally Spotted

One of my ornithological friends rang me today to alert me to the return of a rare breed that has come back to England for the winter season.

He was referring of course to the lesser spotted bird of Wavertree, the Right Hounourable Jane Kennedy.

She was not in her constituency of course, but you can't have everything!

Still on holiday!!!

I'm told that Wavertree MP Jane Kennedy is still on holiday at her 3rd home in France.

I thought that the long summer recess was meant to give MPs a chance to spend more time in their constituencies, not sunning themselves in the Dordogne or wherever she is.

Her website says that she has not held a surgery since 24th July, and still no indication of when she plans to start them again. That's what I call service!!!

Liverpool is the tops

Yes we knew it already, but Liverpool has been voted as England's top city break after London by Conde Nast Traveller readers.

Liverpool was ahead of Bath (3rd); Oxford (4th); Manchester (5th) and York (6th).

I can also confirm it is the most dog friendly city, with more parkland and trees per person that any other city.

The only think that lets us down as a tourist city is the frequent acts of sabotage by Branson the bearded collie and network rail.

Anyone who wanted to come up from London for the Matthew Street Festival last weekend faced a 7 hour journey with 4 changes. And it was a similar story every weekend during 2008. Yet Virgin Trains was a sponsor of Capital of Culture! With friends like that, who need enemies?

Thanks Mr Brocklebank

One of the things about being a dog is a willingness to take praise from anyone.

So I must admit to giving a little wag of the tail when I was told that one Mr Brocklebank was reviewing my blog in his Daily Post column.

"There are, he explained, a shortlist of suspected town hall terriers behind this canine curmudgeon, whose gallery of Labour look-a-likes raised many a guffaw within the corridors of power. In fact, some Labour members have confessed disappointment their profiles are not high enough to warrant comparison with other mostly fictional characters."

I have no idea who this Brocklebank chap is, (nor I must admit had I heard of him before this article was put under my nose) but all attention is gratefully received.

I wouldn't claim to be a town hall terrier though, I'm not that grand. More of a dog about town with his ear to the ground.

This blog would be nothing without the titbits fed to me by my human correspondents, which I regurgitate here for your pleasure and amusement.

Top Blog Dog

Recently I found out I have been listed in the Total Politics magazine top 75 Lib Dem blogs in the country, but only today did I find out just how well I've done.

Apparently I am listed as the nation's 16th favourite, not bad for a new entry, and only one place behind the popular London Blogging MP Lynne Featherstone.

I am truly astonished and grateful for this level of support, it's a tail in the eye for all those Labour hacks who keep leaving nasty messages saying that no one is interested in a little dog's political musings.

Lots of love and licks to all my loyal fans who came out to support me. I knew you wouldn't let me down.