Satirical political blogging in Liverpool is reborn, and in a smaller package. Unlike the previous canine correspondents, Hammy can get into those hidden corners of the corridors of power. Eeking out the hot gossip you won't see elsewhere. This is a satirical blog, and if you are incapable of understanding that please navigate away now!!! All entries are made in a strictly personal capacity
UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT
Friday, February 26, 2010
Please back Steve
So I am taking the unusual step of appealing directly to my many loyal (and not so loyal) Labour readers to do whatever they can to help Steve get selected.
This is no slight on Patrick Moloney, who is the Lib Dem candidate for Walton. I have yet to met him, but I am told he is also a very nice chap and would make a great MP. And it would be great to know that whichever of them won, Walton will end up with a good MP who will fight for local people.
I met Steve during his period as Lord Mayor, and will never forget how he took time to shake my paw and scratch behind my ear.
I can't say a single bad word about him, he is such a genuinely nice bloke, who has shown himself to be a good ambassador for our city.
With Steve Rotheram & Colin Eldridge working together, we would have at least two MPs who will put the interest of Liverpool above tribal party politics and fight for our city.
That's got to be better than the collection of malcontents and greasy-pole climbers, who have put their own promotions or egos first, that we have had to endure in recent parliaments.
Have a great weekend!
Lots of love & licks,
Dude
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Lucianalambanana

I had to update this page to make sure you all saw this very funny description of the picture by Ethical Bill.
"A sort of Lady Godiva in reverse, riding through the town fully clothed to support a Government that leaves the poor to be harshly taxed while allowing billionaires to get away with paying less tax than their cleaners!"
Nice one Bill, wish I'd thought of it!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Kilfoyle quits
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Luciana's pledges
She announces (several times) what she plans to do "WHEN I am elected as your member of parliament."
Voters may be surprised to learn that their imperious leader has decided that democracy will be suspended in Wavertree, as they can't be trusted to vote for the cockney lady in the red rosette.
So choice will apparently be taken away from them and Luciana will be your MP, even if none of you vote for her!
OK, admittedly that sounds just like the Labour selection (can you find any Labour member who will admit voting for her?)
Like all of my species, I study human nature very closely. And over the years I have picked up that people (in Liverpool at least) don't like that sort of arrogance, any more than they like carpet baggers.
What next I hear you ask? "When I am elected, I will have a very big house on my expenses... your just jealous!"
And as someone pointed out in the Echo letters page, she keeps on getting her leaflets printed in Cambridge (with her mates down south?) can someone please have a quiet word and explain that we do have printers oop north. Where does she think we print Whippet's Weekly and the "Which Cloth Cap" guide?
Monday, February 22, 2010
green Eagle

And so our long season of lookalikes could be coming to an end, unless you have other ideas?
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Luciana's local pad
Since then the hunt has been on to track down her home in the city that backs up this outlandish claim.
So full marks to Picton terrier Timbo, who may have sniffed out her rather compact, but cheap, accommodation address recently. And it has the added advantage of being able to be loaded onto a van for transport back to London on May 7th.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Final Demand
Peter Kilfoyle was forced to repay £324.16 for Mortgage interest overpayments. Small beer perhaps, but maybe he should have employed his daughter to independantly research how much he was actually paying in interest before he put the claim in?
Meanwhile Jane Kennedy received a demand to repay £2,569.83 for Mortgage interest/council tax/utility bill overpayments and Mobile phone bills. But never mind dear, you got away with the £400 a month in food, and £20,000 "redundancy payment" for resigning twice. And of course you will be getting another £60,000 to soften the blow in May. Don't spend it all at once.
Of course, the taxpayer can expect much bigger windfalls from Labour MPs, such as the £20,000 that the boyfriend of lovely Luciana was forced to repay, after he was caught renting a flat from his sister.
But the prize for getting away with it has to go to Jane Kennedy's "close friend" Geoff Hoon who got away with building up a £1.7 million property empire by flipping his allowances.
Now that would pay for a few holidays in retirement!
Lots of love, Sally!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Two conspiracy theories for the price of one
I just came across this fantastic picture Liverpool Confidential complete with campaign interview with Jim Royle.
Meanwhile Labour's civil war escalated as Riverside Labour MP and Labour Friends of Israel member Louise Ellman accused Walton Labour MP Peter Kilfoyle of an "anti Zionist conspiracy."Joe the Pitbull had already slammed Peter Kilfoyle, suggesting he was past his sell by date, only for Kilfoyle to hit back suggesting that Joe was incompetent.
At this rate will any of Labour's senior figures in Liverpool be talking to each other by polling day?
Top of the hate list of course must be Wavertree MP Jane Kennedy who created this mess in the first place by setting up her protégé.
You have to wonder if she's actually a mole trying to bring Labour down from the inside. Is this plan b from the curry house plot?
Monday, February 15, 2010
Richard McDursley
This famous resident of Little Whinging kept poor Harry Potter locked in the cupboard under the stairs for years, so no doubt we can thank Labour Councillor Richard Mclinden for influencing Daniel Radcliff's decision to come out as a Liberal Democrat.
And is that Nick small I see with him?
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Did you miss me?
She did such a good job I think I should really give her a regular column.
So where was I?
Well on vet's advice I took a few weeks off to relax. It'sa stressful job running an award winning blog, particularly when you have to deal with regular threats of violence or death. Not something any little dog should endure, and the RSPCA are investigating.
So I took some time off, acceping a long standing invitation from family in Linconshire to go and stay in their lovely cottage.
As you would expect, the sausages were amazing and I really didnt want to come home.
But all good things come to an end, and now I'm back home.
And there is so much to catch up on!
I will be grilling my regular sources for more juicy stories, so watch this space.
Lots of love and licks,
Dude
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Rickaaaaaaaay!!!
Monday, February 8, 2010
Rolling pins at dawn
Friday, February 5, 2010
Swiss Tory
"Standing for the Tories in Liverpool is rather like making love to a beautiful women.... you try to pace yourself for a long campaign, and your dream is to come second. But in the end it all falls flat, and your left making up excuses for why it keeps happening to you."Thursday, February 4, 2010
Now her boyfriend quits
More bad news for Luciana, as her 41 year old Minister boyfriend announces he is quitting parliament, claiming he wants to be Mayor of Birmingham instead.Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Swiss banker from Bucks
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Pants on fire
Monday, February 1, 2010
Dude's sausages at risk
Saturday, January 30, 2010
"Frankly Mr Shankly, I've never heard of you!"
However my favorite had to be the Echo local knowledge test in the Echo on Friday.
Luciana Berger takes Liverpool test
by Ben Schofield, Liverpool Echo
LUCIANA Berger was slammed by party colleague Peter Kilfoyle for not having enough local knowledge to represent voters in Wavertree.Leaping to her defence, a Labour official claimed everyone who had met her was 'impressed by her experience and local knowledge'.But not satisfied with that, the ECHO decided to test Ms Berger with a local quiz. The result: 'must try harder'.Here's what we asked and her answers.Who gave their name to Liverpool's airport?Answer: John LennonHow many Mersey tunnels are there?Answer: At least twoWho performed Ferry Cross the Mersey?Answer: I've no ideaWho was Bill Shankly?Answer: I don't know. On hearing who the Anfield legend was, she said: 'You can't ask a girl a football question.'Score: 2 out of 4
Friday, January 29, 2010
Poor showing
This was roundly defeated, not least by aspiring Council leader Councillor Anderson who attended only 57% of his meetings in 6 months.
Ah wait, I hear you say.
A busy and important man like Councillor Anderson must have lots of meetings to attend, he can't be in two places at one!
Well, he has made a point on keeping his commitments to time consuming meetings to a minimum. Therefor he was only expected to attend 7 meetings, just over one a month. And yet he attended just 4 of them.
Is this the same man who wrote to an independent panel demanding a pay rise for himself? No wonder they rejected him saying he wasn't worth it!
And this is the same man who's big policy idea for the last election was to give himself £50,000 a year to run the council.
So how much is he worth? Well currently we pay him over £20,000 a year. So for the last 6 months he has been paid more than £2,500 per meeting.
Meanwhile, hats off to Lib Dem Malcom Kelly, who attended 64 out of his 70 meetings in the last 6 months. Now there is value for money.
Have a fun weekend, lots of love and licks,
Sally
Dude the Dog is in refusing to come out from behind the sofa.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Do the Tories even know where Liverpool is?
No longer are they building up to the 2008 local election, instead they have woken up to the idea of there being another election in town.
So now they are up to date and know what they are doing, right?
Wrong. The website now proudly displays a list of photos of their new parliamentary candidates "for Liverpool".
Adam Marsden - Walton
Richard Downey - Garston & Halewood
Dr Kegang Wu - Liverpool Riverside
Cllr Pamela Hall - West Derby (surely not a Liverpool Councillor)
Sohail Qureshi - Bootle (eh?)
David Dunne - Knowsley (what?)
Bootle and Knowsley in Liverpool? Is this some Tory policy we don't know about yet? Or are the Tories so out of touch with cities like Liverpool that they don't know where the boundaries are?
And surely they have not forgoten about Alf Garnett standing in Wavertree? I understand it was only incorporated into the city of Liverpool in 1895, so we can't expect you to have caught up yet.
_________________________________________
Meanwhile, Wendy Simon was spotted on Matthew Street drowning her sorrows... her friend and supporter Cllr Baldock nowhere to be seen.
Dude the dog is still away, come back I need I.T support!
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
It's civil war
Shocker as Labour Zionist Stands in Large Muslim Area
Luciana Berger is a well-known Zionist who has supported the cause of Israel for many years and is currently the director of Labour Friends of Israel. Moreover, on her website Ms Berger has, as one of her "favourite sites" the Neo-Cons at "Harry's Place", which currently has an article running saying "the Quran is a problem"
Imagine my surprise when I established that Ms Berger is the Labour Party candidate for next year's local elections in the London Borough of Camden, where she is standing in St Pancras and Sommers Town ward. According to the 2001 census the ward has a Muslim population of 22.9%. The Jewish population is 0.8%. What on earth was the Camden CLP thinking when it selected her and where were the Muslim members of that branch on the night of her selection?
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Overexcited
I do hope someone has a bucket of water ready for when they try and start rubbing up and down her leg.
Just look at their facebook page here
Monday, January 25, 2010
Seriously creepy Luciana
So thanks to the reader who sent me this seriously creepy lookalike of the vampish Luciana, who is no doubt hoping to follow in the footsteps of her mentor Jane Kennedy, and become a Health Minister...if only to get control of our blood banks.

Shockingly, Uncle Fester is supporting her opponent, surely this has got to be causing some family ructions?
But have a look at the video and see what other Labour family members you can spot?
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Yipeeeee!
As you would expect, I'm particularly fond of a Burger, so I'm very pleased that one has been selected for Liverpool Wavertree.
There was a brief scary period when even I thought Ms Berger might not get in, despite being the sole Luciana on the Luciana only shortlist!
The thought of having to find anything interesting to say about monochrome Wendy was too hideous to contemplate. To be honest, I had already decided to hang up my collar and lead and stop blogging if Wendy was selected - there is that little worth saying to her.
Now you can rest assured I will carry on with gusto and you can look forward to weeks of juicy Luciana revelations to keep you in stitches.
It's time for a lookalike methinks... come back tomorrow and all will be revealed. Let the game commence.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Publicity shy
All except one!
A certain Mr A Garnett, whose mugshot we are still waiting to see, and will be standing in Wavertree.Now fair play to them, at least the Tories have a candidate in Wavertree, unlike Labour.
But you can't help thinking Alf has already decided that he's wasting his time, after all it isn't the same constituency that Randolph Churchill fought in the famous by-election.
The only question is, will he keep his deposit in the big squeeze?
Oh and their website still says that they are building up to the 2008 local election. Come on catch up, we're all waiting for you!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Ringing endorsement
However, Wendy Simon's endorsements page takes the dog biscuit.
The following is a genuine endorsement taken from http://www.wendysimonforwavertree.co.uk/we-want-wendy-for-wavertree/ from a Labour party member who I am told is a several times Labour candidate and close friend of former Labour minister Jane Kennedy.
AWell yes Angela, I'm sure there is nothing in that statement that anyone could disagree with. In fact I would go as far as to congratulate you on your honesty.ngela Glanville of Picton ward says
“I think Wendy is the best candidate for Wavertree because so many local people are disillusioned with our Labour Government and feel they are not addressing the real issues so many of us are facing.”
It still doesn't explain why we should have yet another Labour MP who will toe the party line and remain silent on the issues that matter to Liverpool.
Hardly a ringing endorsement, and somehow I doubt they will be putting that one on the election leaflets.
Really Wendy, is this the best you could get?
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Making house calls
I am told I have regular readers amongst many councillors, senior officers, the "committee services" department and the press office. Many of whom are now deprived of my wit and wisdom.
So at last here are three solutions.
You can try using google reader, it's easy to set up an account if you haven't already got one. Then just click on to the "add a subscription" button at the top of the page and insert the code below:- http://dudethedog.blogspot.com/feeds/posts/default?alt=rss
For the more technical among you, you can use that same code in any RSS feed program of your choice.
Finally, if the above is too complicated for you, drop me a line at dudethedog@playful.com and I can add you to my daily e-mail list, with my messages sent straight to your mailbox.
You can unsubscribe at any time by e-mailing me.
So never fear. If you can't get to Dude the Dog, Dude the Dog will come to you.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Impersonation
You will be as revealed as I am to here that these rumours are not true, and Ms Baldock does indeed intend to lose her seat in May at the ballot box... sorry that should have been fight!
The rumours were speared on by news that she is yet again being investigated by the standards committee for yet another foul mouthed outburst, this time in front of residents, as exclusively hinted at on these pages in the autumn.
You will remember how she was slated for referring to all Liberal Democrats as b*stards, so we can only guess how a second more serious offence will be dealt with.
I will end with a word to our mysterious commentator, I know you are reading.
Impersonation is never nice, it's not clever, and you have put a lot of people to unnecessary stress and worry.
You have let me down, you have let your own pets down, and most of all you have let yourself down. And when I find out who you are, you will be banned from this blog.
You have been warned!
Monday, January 18, 2010
Wendy gets serious
So that you can better imagine her as an MP, this lookalike image has been provided.

And to prove that she is really a serious political heavy weight, she tells us that her favourite pass time is playing with her two kittens. Ahhh!
The question is, will this be enough to truly turn this into a two horse race against the lovely Lucy?
Friday, January 15, 2010
Know your ward
Unfortunately, Princes Park's Anna Ruthery didn't follow this simple guide.
As the first candidate to announce her intention to seek the nomination for Labour's Wavertree PPC nomination (but also the first to withdraw) you would think this rule would be drummed into her.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Incompetent plotters
Which reminds me of another story I forgot to fetch for you.
It was little noticed that one of the Curry House plotters against Gordon Brown was none other than our very own Jane Kennedy, who's relationship with chief plotter Jeoff Hoon is well know.
As reported in the Grundian, in September Jane had been part of a plot to oust Brown, offering to run to be chair of the parliamentary party, but between her and the two other potential candidates they couldn't decide who would do it, and the plot fell apart.
Hoon then held back on criticising Brown, until he found out if Brown was going to give him a job he wanted.
Yet Jane stepped forward unto the breach to be part of the latest incompetent plot last week.
Surely this isn't the same Jane Kennedy who told Roger Phillips on 21st September that "the time has gone" to remove Gordon and that instead "for the sake of Liverpool, we have to persuade voters across Britain that it is worth sticking with Labour."
With Labour diving back in the polls again, it seems a funny way of doing that.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
A complete Pilnick
For a council employee, he does seem to enjoy having a high profile in political circles, as you can see here.
One wonders why he doesn't run for office himself, unless of course he is this Kevin Pilnick, also of West Derby, that appeared before Liverpool County Court in 2008.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Public service
One of my rival bloggers and occasional commentator on this site, Professor Chucklebutty, spotted Colin Eldridge and team out with shovels on Allerton Road in south Liverpool over the weekend.
What was he doing? Clearing ice off the pavement so that local pensioners could get to the shops.
Now that is what I call public service! And I found the following photo yesterday on Dale Street Blues.

I have to ask, were Luciana and Wendy out hacking back the ice this weekend, or where they at home in front of the fire, playing with kittens?
Monday, January 11, 2010
3 star Hilton
Yes it's Dale Street's very own 3 star Hilton who, I am told, has a more than passing resemblance to Bert, the boring, pigeon fancying, paper clip collecting resident of Sesame Street.

Unfortunately Colin won't be able to see this lookalike as he has banned your faithful canine correspondent from all council premises, meaning that Bert won't be able to access this from his local library either.
But to show there are no hard feelings, I have decided to promote Colin's latest music video on this site for your entertainment.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Quietly plotting
Meanwhile Luciana's campaign, unofficially backed by Jane Kennedy, has been continuing rather quietly, so quietly that her prospective constituents in Camden still have no idea that she plans to abandon them.
So thank you to one of my regular readers who obtained secret footage of Luciana and a male friend plotting in a dark corner of a wine bar in Mossley Hill.

The romantically inclined of you however, might just assume that this handsom young beaux is her replacement for Euan Blair!
Meanwhile, many questions have been raised as to why only two people are interested in a seat that has a sitting Labour MP.
"Ah", we are told by Labour insiders. "There there are better seats in the region that are attracting more interest, such as Wigan and Ashton in Makerfield."
What do they mean by "better?" Is Liverpool so hated by prospective Labour candidates as a potential place to live and represent? Or do they mean that Labour's approved candidates simply have written off Wavertree as a seat that Labour have any realistic chance of holding at the next election?


